sshhhh


so a student from my alma mater sent me a pm via fb asking me to answer a survey regarding tracing alumni whereabouts

I’ve actually done this before but for a different batch and after answering their survey, I feel overly underachieved. If only being successful could be done by just reviewing for a certain exam or quiz and voila! You got a perfect score! but no, it’s like a maze cave that will keep your heads turn and make your stomach churn. I should know, I’m still on the journey and I have yet to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You know that feeling when you should be doing something more than what you’ve always been doing. something big. no erase that. something that you do that makes you feel worthy of yourself.

I’ve always felt I’m a mediocre student (you strive hard but still you’re always halfway to the top) and now I still feel the same, graduated decade ago but still the same mediocre person that I am. I don’t know. maybe it’s the lack of sleep that’s making me feel this way, it sucks.

anyhow, remember the part-time job I told you about? I think I’ll just let it go, I’m having second thoughts of continuing on it. First, the trainer/VA of the company owner doesn’t respect anyone’s time. There was this time that I was told that training starts at 7am only to be told later that it was moved to 9am. There was another time where I was made to wait 5 hours for training evaluation only to be told that she can’t make it because she has lots of tasks to finished. I mean, the world has invented many different ways of communication and they didn’t bother to tell us trainees earlier?I didn’t receive any apology for my time wasted and was told nothing will be paid for the time I waited because nothing was done. With just one week of being with them makes me pity myself, I mean, yes I approached them for a part-time job but it’s like I’m begging them for work. Is it my ego or pride? Or they’re just clueless or shameless. I’m still thinking. I had our laptop repaired and it cost me some money and if I have a part time perhaps I’d be able to earn the money I spent back. But still, I’m having bad vibes on this. I’m applying still but no luck.

Maybe I should have tried lottery again. Maybe I’ll get lucky. Gosh. Where have all the years gone by. A decade more and I’m on 40’s I’m still nowhere near a successful career or financial state where I could safely say my kids will go by swiftly, grow and graduate without financial strains. What the hell did I do during the past years….

shhhh mind. stop thinking…tomorrow is another day..

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