don’t count the eggs before they are hatched…


as of now, may 2 akong work online. ung isa full time tapos isang part-time.

supposedly may isa pa kong part-time as CS sa isang website na may adult content. kahapon ung start ko pero unfortunately kahapon din ako tinanggal hahaha ang sakit besh. nageexpect na ko ng dagdag income. ung kahit hindi ako familiar sa mga products nila na mala-50 Shades of Grey gora lang ako kasi 2 hrs per day lang tapos ayun ambilis lang. Wala pa kong nakakaisang araw na natapos tanggal agad. Ganito kasi un, ang sabi sakin log in time ko is 1PM till 2 PM PST so nung sumapit ung time na un inopen ko si Hubstaff at nagclick ng start time. From time to time, chinecheck ko ung mailbox for any customers email at pati website at mga email drafts para mafamiliarize sa work-around process. Isang oras at kalahati ung lumipas, nakadalawang emails lang ako so sabi ko petiks sabay nagemail ung bossing sabi “very low productivity” tapos biglang nawalan na ko ng access sa CS mailbox pati sa mga dropbox folders and email drafts. Nagreply ako na ano gagawin ko, wala namang email na dumating maliban sa 2 customer emails. Hindi na nila ko nireplayan gang kanina lang sabi nung Pinay na senior CS, dapat daw icclick ko lng ung start sa Hubstaff pag may ginagawa akong email inshort ndi xa continuous unless madami tlagang gawa. So aun, masama ng konti ung loob ko kasi last week pa lng nagtanong na ko sa kanya kung paano ung proseso sa company, pano ung ganito ganyan tapos nakadalawang email pa ko pero nganga. walang reply. Tapos isang email lng ni bossing reply siya agad tapos kineclaim nya pa na dalawang beses siyang nagpadala ng email sakin regarding those info. duh. shunga ba ko. if may malinaw na instructions at orientation silang binigay edi sana ndi ko irrun ung Hubstaff ng tuloy tuloy kahit walang gawa. Saka nakakainis lang kasi oras mo ung binabayaran supposedly tapos ang gusto per email eh wala naman sa job post nila un. ah basta unfair.

anyhow, magmomove on na ako, nagtanong ako if part pa ba ko ng team or terminated na ko eh kaso wala na namang reply so inalis ko na sila sa OLJ profile ko as part-time employer. gusto nila ganyanan eh.

so far, pangalawa na sila sa ungas na employer na naencounter ko from OLJ. ung isa sa sobrang pagkaungas, pinagwork kami (anim kami puro Pinay freelancers) one week un (ako 4hours for 3 days lang trinabaho kasi late hired) tapos biglang the next week wala na kami lahat access sa folders and everything tapos siya super reklamo na incapable kami kaya pinalitan nya kami at hindi din binayaran. Oo ikaw un CEO ng Gold Virtual Assistant, Ms. Arriana Cromartie. buti na lang natanggal na siya sa OLJ at ung mga kasamahan ko nagfile na ng report sa kung saan sang site na pwede siya ireport.

may karma din kayo. hmpp.

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one bad shift doesn’t mean a bad life


so that was what I was telling myself over and over before I was able to force myself to work again today. You see, yesterday, my boss spoke to me via video-call and I got scolded big time. I haven’t felt this bad in a long time, makes me remember my dental clinic days when my assigned doctor would shove remorseful words down my throat.

anyhow, it started with a chat of how are you and asked me about the additional task he told me about, I totally forgot to send an email reply and just send my questions about the job, rates, trial period and all and then he said he’ll call to discuss. That’s when the scolding started, he said he was extremely insulted that I have the nerve to ask about pay increase when I didn’t’ have an idea of how a virtual assistant works. He said he expected me to just say yes and jump in 2 feet because it’s an additional skills. He even mentioned about me talking to his previous VA behind his back which is totally untrue because I don’t really have connection with his VA. I tried apologising like 3-4 times and he said he doesn’t care about apology and said he was extremely disappointed and insulted about the questions I’ve thrown at him. Honestly, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the questions I asked him, I wouldn’t have to ask them if he had been clear about details like rate increase, schedule change and trial period because he want one. I don’t know, I am extremely disappointed on how he handled my questions, I would have understood if he had declined the rate increase and explain in good faith the reason behind but all he did was telling how disappointed and insulted he was because of the questions I asked. If not for the cut-off coming up, I would have not woken up and attended my shit oh my shift today. okay that’s my ego talking, I needed the money so I attended my shift and that’s that. well, I felt like a 7-year-old kid being told not to ask questions because I’m too young to understand. Damn. Gotta find another job, or any part time soon..

ciao…

here I go again


I’ve been applying here and there for home-based jobs. Some have contacted me and I have yet to finish filling in the exams and information that they wanted. (either I have my hands full or I’m free but doesn’t have the appetite to do productive stuffs)

It’s been more than a month since I gave birth to my second baby and I’m feeling extremely down again. I browsed my old post few months after I have given birth to my first-born and I noticed that my posts were somewhere along the line of sadness and nothingness. I’m not sure if this is somewhat related to post-partum depression or  maybe it is, but one thing I know, this feeling sucks.

maybe I’m just exhausted from lack of sleep. but I rarely do any household chores here so I don’t really know.

sad

I browsed my old photos in facebook and instagram and there’s this picture that I  look radiant (but I definitely remember that I’m extremely sad that time). Guess it’s really true, picture doesn’t do justice to what you really feel inside. Don’t we all wear masks from time to time?

I’m just. I don’t know. Maybe sick of my current self. Hope I’ll feel better soon.

PUPPP U!!!!


It’s been 4 days now and I am literally dying on the inside because of my condition called Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy. According to the dermatologist that I went to, this usually starts during third trimester of pregnancy and most of those affected are the ones carrying baby boy. Also, more often only 1 out of 200 gets inflicted with this condition. (So ganun ako kaswerte 😦 ) It usually starts on the tummy (that’s where it started for me) then slowly spreads to the back, arms and legs. The itch that comes with the hives is the worst possible itch you can imagine (literal na nakikipagbargain na ko kung ano ung dapat kong gawin)

I miss sleeping soundly through the night. I can barely catch zzzzs right now. I tried katinko, sudocrem, Elidel, cetaphil lotion and herbal lotion recommended by tatay), alcohol but nothing seems to help. My OB prescribed me an antihistamine named Cetirizine to help me catch some snooze but it doesn’t have any effect at all. I cried hard last night because I feel like I am cursed (as in un talaga pakiramdam ko, iniisip ko pa nga nakulam ako hahaha). After I came to my senses, I just decided to google it just to check if there’s someone out there unlucky as me and voila! There were other unlucky preggies like me who got the horrible PUPPP! Unfortunately, I only came across 1 Filipina who got it and most are Caucasians. They were telling about this pine tar soap that works wonders for them. I immediately search the net for this and had to get Shopee app because that’s the only site I checked where this pine tar soap is available. I immediately ordered but would have to wait till Saturday next week until I received it because according to the reseller. She’ll have to get it from the US. (Kill me now) I’m not sure if I still have some decent skin by that time. For now, I’d have to stick with the hypoallergenic soap, betamethasone lotion and cetirizine that my doctors prescribed me.

Still miserable at this time. (Scratch, scratch, scratch) I hope it will get better soon. I’m hanging on the saying “this too, shall pass”

 

minsan mapapamura ka talaga


so nagauto-play sa fb newsfeed ko yung video kung san gisadong bawang ung witness eklavu sa ejk hearing, ung ichura na parang gusto na niyang umamin na punyeta naligaw lang ako dito, pero ayun tuloy pa din, para kong nanunuod ng teleserye na may twist and turns yung plot, akala ko sa novel at movies lang may fiction pati sa Senado pala meron din. Teka may parte ba sa tax na kinakaltas sakin every cut off ang napupunta sa mga nakaupo dun lalo na dun Chairperson?kasi kung ganun nga eh Pu@#!1[\&@!!!! 

wala lang,napadaan lang matagal din akong hindi nakapagpost, 😈hehehe

 

 

allow me to whine in taglish


hinalukay ko na ang merriam webster dictionary app sa celepono at naggoogle na ako ng mas magandang termino sa word na rejected pero wala talaga eh, what word would suffice to tell you that you’re not qualified in a way that you won’t feel bad? Yung tipong break it to me gently ang peg. Parang wala naman ata.

Ganito kasi yun, I recently received an email from a scholarship body which I applied 2 months ago. Actually, nakalimutan ko na nga na nag-apply ako until I read the email. It says my application was unsuccessful as it has not met the required continuation criteria, it also says that the decision is final and they could not provide further details. Okay. Another blow to my already bruised ego. It doesn’t hurt as much as the first time (first time rejection sucks) but it still stings a little. Oo, suntok sa buwan naman kasi talaga yun but there’s that 0.5 percent in me na umasa ng konti na baka sakali makalusot. Pero siguro nga hindi para sakin yun. I didn’t even pray hard enough to get it. Kasi sa tingin ko kung para sakin, para sakin talaga kung hindi edi move on. Pero parang ang saya lang kasi makapasa sa scholarship grant tapos depende sayo kung iggrab mo siya or hindi. o diba ang babaw ng rason ko hahaha. anyways I have lots of things to consider now. Aside from the fact that I’m no longer single (I’m triple hahaha), kakasign ko nga lang pala ng job contract. And I just realized that even if I got the scholarship grant, I doubt I could leave my baby at the moment. Siguro nga hindi talaga para sakin. Pero ayun, may kagat nga sa pakiramdam, siguro ganito talaga pag nagkakaedad, hahaha, aren’t we getting sensitive? We talaga?nandamay pa ng iba?

 

dahil mas marami pang mahalagang bagay kesa pag-eemote


Habang nakahiga ako katabi ng anak kong payapang natutulog na may konting paghihilik on the side, iniisip ko kung saan ako nagkamali sa pagsagot sa interview at exam ko kahapon sa isang kumpanya. andaming tanong bigla sa utak ko. bakit kaya hindi pa sila nagtetext. zero ba ko sa exam? hindi nila feel ang aura ko? pati ba naman sa non-voice bokya ako? hanggang mapunta sa saan ba ko nagkamali ng desisyon sa buhay at struggling pa din ako? nakakaguilty bigla na nag-anak ako pero hindi ko pa siya kayang bigyan ng magandang buhay na tutugma sa ideal na magandang buhay sa isip ko.

hanggang sa naalala ko hindi ko pa pala napaplantsa yung damit ng baby ko na nilabhan ni daddylabs. 

tapos may narinig ako sa isip ko na nagsabing “Cut! OA na!”

oo na, eto na nga, magpaplantsa na.

jetsetter, not!


yung nakakastress na byahe papuntang disyerto at pabalik ng bayang sinilangan sa loob nga tatlong araw lang. para kong batang tinakam sa kendi pero hindi naman nabigyan.

kung meron man akong napatunayan, yun ay mahal talaga ko nila ate tzie at kuya benjie hehehe (salamat sa pagdamay at pagpatay nyo sa mga umapi sakin sa isip nyo hahaha)

napatunayan ko din ang bayanihang Pilipino, salamat sa mga katrabaho kong nagbigay ng regalo sa saglit kong pagbisita sa disyerto.

DSC_1154

p.s. ayoko nang umulit.

p.s. ulit. hindi na talaga. lintik lang ang walang ganti.

p.s. ulit. matitikman nila ang batas ng isang api. (insert evil laugh 😈)

p.s ulit (last na) bukas luluhod ang mga tala. 

 

hb


bakit ang hirap magbigay ng utos ang mga Pilipino? Kailangan laging sabi ni ganito sabi ni ganyan gawin mo daw to, bakit ganun? At bakit apektado ako? eh kasi pesteng kusang-palo, nung nagpaulan ata nakasalo ako ng isang drum.

p.s. ung kusang- palo na sinasabi ko applicable lang sa trabaho ko kasi dun lang naman ako masipag. sa totoong buhay nuknukan ako ng tamad.