chubby is the new sexy


sabi ng asawa ko sakin kasi sabi ko ung waistline ko wala na sa medium size.

asa large na.

my gosh hahaha. arti arti. sabi ko hindi na kasya ung iba kong damit sakin sabi niya problema ba yun edi bumili ng bago. ang supportive hahaha.

gusto ko talagang magdiet pero sa tuwing may pagkain akong nakikita at binibigyan niya ko ng pagkain lagi kong sinasabi sa sarili ko ay “eat today, diet tomorrow.

eto na talaga ung sumpa ng pagtanda chos sumpa talaga. mabagal na metabolism. tapos ung kain ko nung dalaga ako ganun pa din ako kumain ngayon tapos work from home pa ko. sinong hindi tataba hahahaha

alam ko naman na dapat mindful eating na ako kaso mahirap magpigil pag masarap ang pagkain. basta soon. mga bukas or next month. or balang araw.

for the mean time kakain muna ko ng waffle at magkakape for the nth time.

yum yum yum..

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death penalty for rape


I was browsing my FB newsfeed when a post caught my eye. Streaks of blood in a hospital floor. I got curious and I read through the article then I got furious. A 5 year old female kid was raped. Yes. Raped. Her lower part was bleeding so much the nurse and bystanders thought she got caught up in an accident. No info was given regarding who did that unimaginable thing to an innocent kid. I hope they rot in hell real bad. I hope someone will make them pay. I actually wish them dead so they’ll do no further harm.

I wish for death penalty as a punishment to those fucking rapist. Sa mga pabibo na magsasabing hindi kamatayan ang sagot, tangina sabihin niyo yan sa limang taong gulang na binaboy ng mga rapist na yun. At sa mga iba pang pabibo na magsasabing buti nga hindi pinatay, sabihin nyo yan sa batang yun at sa lahat ng biktima ng rape na kahit matanda na sila ramdam at tanda nila ung kababuyang ginawa sa kanila. I should know. Someone close to me was almost raped and she still has nightmares until now. How much more to those rape victims? Pano nila haharapin ung kinabukasan?It would take a lifetime perhaps more to move on sa ganyang pangyayari sa buhay.

Pamura na din sa mga victim blamers na nagsasabing walang mararape kung maayos manamit. Punyeta sabihin nyo sakin kung kamaniac maniac ba ung 5 years old na batang babae na nakapantulog.

Gigil na gigil ako sa nangyari sa batang yun at ipinapanalangin kong makayanan nya yung dagok na un sa buhay niya. I wish no other kids, women or man shall suffer the way she did. Fuck rapists. Fuck drugs. Fuck evil.

Sorry naman sa puro murang post. Gigil much talaga ko. May anak akong babae. I couldn’t imagine what is going on inside that kid’s mom and dad’s mind. Just imagining something horrible like that might happen to my kids makes me want to go on a rampage. Ay talaga naman. maghahalo ang balat sa tinalupan.

Just my two cents


Recently my 2nd elder sister posted a status update in FB saying “kelan ko kaya ulit makikita ang mga barkada ko, namimiss ko na sila”. My husband’s always updated on Fb and he immediately related my sister’s status update to me saying it’s inappropriate to post something like that considering my sister’s got huge responsibility having 7 kids on her back (one’s with us so there’s 6 remaining kids). I replied saying “tao pa din naman siya”. I mean I know my sister can really be selfish at times but I also know she cares for her kids. I mean once you become a parent, do you have to lose yourself in the process of being one? I don’t think so. I mean, your kids have to come first most of the time like 99% but isn’t it fair to keep atleast 1% for yourself? Otherwise how else would you keep your sanity? Perhaps those know-it-alls parents or not would say that’s bull because once you subjected yourself into creating another life, you have to be responsible for them like for the rest of your life. I don’t remember who said this to me not sure if it’s my mom or my sister, “kapag nagka-anak ka na, sa kanila na iikot ang mundo mo”. I mean this could be partly true coz nowadays my world literally revolves around my kids. I couldn’t remember the last time I stepped out of the house without my kids with me. Even when I work they’re with me though not the whole 8 hours otherwise they’ll throw into a tantrum.

Having kids will literally turn your world upside down. They did mine. But do I regret having them?No. I would always choose a life with them in it. But if I could go back, perhaps I would have had them at a later time when we have everything ready, house of our own, stable source of income where we don’t have to worry about what’s going to happen in the future. That could have been better but anyway I guess life’s like that, it always happens the least we expect it will.

Ooopps, this post got longer than it should. I just hope everything will turn out fine. Hope my kids will turn out happy and kind. I hope my parenting wouldn’t suck as I’m expecting it would. Hahaha. I think I talked too much today I mean I typed too much rather. Lack of sleep does that to you I guess.

Before I further blabber nonsense, I’d have to take off because I’m still working at this hour. 40 minutes more before my log out time. Shhh my son’s sleeping. Gotta shut up now.

hindi pa panahon


ang tumal ng ESL tutorial ko these past few days, swerte na maka-apat na klase ako sa isang araw, nung minsan nga wala talaga. sabi nung coach ko examination week daw kasi kaya walang mga students, sabi naman nung iba, nung natag sila na BK12 teacher humina talaga ang booking nila, feeling ko trulalu talaga ung theory nung isang co-teacher ko na feeling nung mga adult students, once tagged kami as BK12 teacher, focus kami sa mga gradeschool/preschool students. eh pano ba naman kasi, ung mga regular adult students ko, nawaley lahat, ayan tuloy nahahaggard ako sa pagtuturo ng mga preschool/gradeschool students.

anyhow, may nakita akong job post sa isang work-at-home-mom group na sinalihan ko regarding a live healthcare virtual assistant at feeling ko literal na umilaw ung mata ko kasi nakita ko sa requirements, nurse or allied health sciences. sabi ko sa sarili ko this is it pansit, baka pwede ko dito kahit wala pa kong experience as VA so nag-apply ako.  (maganda ung rate per hour tapos pwede 4-8 hours ung working hours na pagpipilian pero yun nga lang night shift siya) sobrang excited ako kasi the day after ko magsubmit, nagreply sila regarding sa requirements saka ung exam na dapat ipasa before maiskedyul ka for initial interview. madaming requirements pero ung sa exam talaga ko tumagal. may sinend na mp3 voice clip tapos itatranscribe tapos pag nagsend back ka, dapat imention mo kung gano mo katagal tnranscribe ung voice clip. live charting ung laman, may doctor na nagsasalita tapos dinidictate nya ung patient name, DOB, chief complaint, subjective at objective tapos treatment plan, apat na pasyente yun pero dahil sa bilis ng pagsasalita kailangan ko iislowmo at kailangan ko pang magreview ng medical terminologies dahil nakalimutan ko na ung iba. Hindi ko natapos agad ung voice clip siguro mga 3 days ko natapos eh 13 minutes plus lang yun eh syempre pwede ko lng siya asikasuhin pag tulog si bastetot. pero ayun natapos ko naman, pero if ieestimate ko mga 8 hours ko siguro ginawa yun, grabehan lang, pero yun talaga nilagay kong time (kasi ayoko namang magpanggap na nadalian ako tapos pag live charting na goodluck na lng bigla diba) nung sinend ko nung requirements, at sa kasamaang-palad hindi na sila nagreply, ahuhuhu, nakakalungkot.

may 2 days na kong nagseself-pity kasi nalulungkot talaga ko, gusto kong magdeactivate ng facebook at IG kasi mas lalo nilang pinapamukha na underaccomplished akong tao, alam mo un, 30, rank and file na empleyado nakaML pero magreresign pagbalik, walang ipon, walang sariling bahay,  pakiramdam ko wala kong narating sa buhay, over lang? hahaha, tapos makikita mo ung isang batchmate mo na nangongopya sayo dati nalibot na ata buong mundo dahil sa magandang work niya, hayyy sarap lang minsan magpakalunod sa lahat ng negatibong nararamdaman ko pero syempre hindi pwede malunod dun kasi nanay na nga pala ko. ganito ba ung tinatawag nilang adulting?doneadulting21 kalurky naman. kaya dito na lang ako maglalabas ng nararamdaman ko, chos. ow well. siguro hindi pa panahon. siguro nagmamadali ako. kung ano’t anoman eh wala talaga eh, ganun talaga, haha, atleast may ESL tutorial sideline ako, salamat na din. hindi pa naman katapusan ng mundo. may bukas pa. saka may nagmamahal pa naman sakin, hahaha

 

 

 

here I go again


I’ve been applying here and there for home-based jobs. Some have contacted me and I have yet to finish filling in the exams and information that they wanted. (either I have my hands full or I’m free but doesn’t have the appetite to do productive stuffs)

It’s been more than a month since I gave birth to my second baby and I’m feeling extremely down again. I browsed my old post few months after I have given birth to my first-born and I noticed that my posts were somewhere along the line of sadness and nothingness. I’m not sure if this is somewhat related to post-partum depression or  maybe it is, but one thing I know, this feeling sucks.

maybe I’m just exhausted from lack of sleep. but I rarely do any household chores here so I don’t really know.

sad

I browsed my old photos in facebook and instagram and there’s this picture that I  look radiant (but I definitely remember that I’m extremely sad that time). Guess it’s really true, picture doesn’t do justice to what you really feel inside. Don’t we all wear masks from time to time?

I’m just. I don’t know. Maybe sick of my current self. Hope I’ll feel better soon.

ganito ata talaga kapag tumatanda


Dati laging manga at kung anu-anong fictional novels, stories whatsoever ang bet kong basahin pero ngayon hindi na masyado (pero syempre ibang usapan pag yung mga sinusubaybayan ko talaga)

Anyways, I’m currently obsessed on reading financial independence. Naisip ko sana noon pa ko naadik sa pagbabasa tungkol dun edi sana may nasimulan na ako. Sa sobrang dami kong gustong gawin natuturete ung utak ko hahaha. Andaming what ifs bigla, could have, should have, would have eklavu.

Isa sa websites na kasalukuyan kong binabasa at ung http://www.thinkpesos.com saka ung imoney.ph at as sobrang daming ideas nila lahat yun gusto kong gawin. Haha mula sa savings, investing ek ek. Sana masimulan hahahaha cross fingers. Pero sabi nga dun aral muna bago invest. Andami ko pang dapat matutunan young tipong so much to do so little time and energy, minus the fact that I’m preggy, may isa pang clingy human being na panganay ko na dapat asikasuhin. Andaming plano. Iniiisip ko pa lang hagardo verzosa na.

Ayun. Anung oras na pala, isang araw na naman any lilipas sa maternity leave ko hahaha makatulog na nga.

goodbye and hello


in a few hours time, we’ll bid goodbye to 2016 and welcome 2017 (so cliche the intro, haha)

I’ve got lots to be grateful for this year. First and foremost, we got the greatest blessing there is and that will be our daughter Piatot. (despite the sleeplessness, dirty nappies, unexpected tantrums anytime anywhere, the happiness that she has brought into our lives is beyond compare) I happen to get myself a job (though I think I’ll be saying goodbye to this and transfer to another one, haha, wishful), we got our-self a store and an e-bike.

I don’t know but I’m not so excited with new year. maybe because I feel so unsure of what’s going to happen (siguro kapag may anak ka na lagi mo talagang iniisip ung walang kasiguraduhan, or maybe I’m that paranoid, ung tipong dapat maayos ang lahat, bawal kaming mawala or something dahil kawawa naman si Piatot kung mauulila siya, dapat may ganito or ganyan kami para maging maayos ung buhay niya) blah blah. If you’re gonna enter my mind right now, you’ll explode because lots of those uncertainties are lurking in every corner of my mind.

But anyways, I came across this saying in IG this morning. “I am blessed. Today, I am going to focus on what is right in my life“. after  reading this quote, I felt a little better. Just like what someone said somewhere, worrying makes you suffer twice so I want to spare myself from those. (I’m not so much of a masochist)

so tada!

happy new year everyone!

good luck to us!

from a still cynical me,

aubu

damn, it feels good


After working abroad for years side by side with someone who doesn’t have an ounce of appreciation his body, I have forgotten how it feels being recognized for a job well done. 

img_20161207_104036

thanks to my TL for making me remember 😊

gone are the days


when I’ll just brush off low score cards and the bonus money that goes with it

now, all I am thinking is how to get a perfect score so that I’ll have that bonus money to buy stuffs for my baby. or what to do to get rich. hahaha too bad I’m still a novice in the craft so it’s still a long way to go. 4 months and counting,  I don’t know where I’ll end up next.

tata. had to catch some snooze. :p

 

 

 

 

minsan mapapamura ka talaga


so nagauto-play sa fb newsfeed ko yung video kung san gisadong bawang ung witness eklavu sa ejk hearing, ung ichura na parang gusto na niyang umamin na punyeta naligaw lang ako dito, pero ayun tuloy pa din, para kong nanunuod ng teleserye na may twist and turns yung plot, akala ko sa novel at movies lang may fiction pati sa Senado pala meron din. Teka may parte ba sa tax na kinakaltas sakin every cut off ang napupunta sa mga nakaupo dun lalo na dun Chairperson?kasi kung ganun nga eh Pu@#!1[\&@!!!! 

wala lang,napadaan lang matagal din akong hindi nakapagpost, 😈hehehe