isa na akong ganap na


callcenter, hahahaha

yan ang sabi nung isa kong katrabaho na 1st timer sa bpo pagkapick-up ng headset niya sa kabilang bldg. 😈

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ahem ako din pala, hahaha hala sige tawag lang ng tawag, Dios mio, wala pa kong isang linggo na nagccalls namamaos na ko. hahahaha instabalik sa back office process 😈

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paru-paro


pagkatapos kong pagalingin ang ego kong sugatan sa recent rejection sa isang job application, sumabak na naman ako sa oplan hanap trabaho.

sa totoo lang hindi ko na din sigurado kung anong trabaho ung gusto kong patusin, sabi nga nung isa kong kaibigan ko magulo daw ako, sabi ko naman edi kayo na may direksyon sa buhay. hahaha. gusto kong subukan magtrabaho sa ospital pero yung huling tumawag sakin eh parang joke time ung salary offer, kahit ata sarili ko hindi ko mabubuhay sa ganung sweldo. Yung isang sikat naman na ospital, aba inimbitahan ako sa exam at interview eh anak ng tokwa, pagkatapos mo pala ipasa yung mga yun magbabayad ka muna ng 10 libo para sa training at depende sa performance mo kung iaabsorb ka nila. Edi wow. so saan ba pupunta ang isang katulong ng doktor na ex-ofw para maghanap ng trabahong pwedeng makabuhay ng pamilya kahit papaano , edi ang in na in na trabaho sa Pinas, call center. Bow.

Galing na kong callcenter bago pa ko nangibang bayan, pero nung panahon na un hindi pa naman ganun kagrabe ung Application process. Ngayon halimaw, natatandaan ko nun, petiks mode naman ung application at recruitment process namin nun. Hassle free at walang stress. Eh yung pinakarecent na inaplayan ko eh one day application daw eh nak ng pusa ung lalamunan ko sumakit ng husto. May initial interview tapos computer exam tapos phone interview (hati pa sa dalawa yan) tapos Versant (yung computer generated ek ek na nagggauge sa Communication skills mo daw) tapos typing test, tapos phone interview ulit tapos final interview (na parang lahat ng tanong sa isang interview naitanong na niya at lahat ng pwedeng scenario sa trabaho na naexperience mo ay gusto niyang ipakwento. Anyways siguro may swerte, naipasa ko naman lahat. Pero nakakahaggard na tunay.

Nung lumabas ako ng Company building para maglunch,may paru-paro na dumapo sa daliri at kahit anung gawin ko ayaw umalis. Ayun naisipan kong piktyuran.

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sabi nila, ang mga paru-paro ay mga mahal mo sa buhay na pumanaw at muling dumadalaw. parang ang creepy pero nakakatuwa din isipin.

naisip ko, parang ako yung paru-paro, palipad-lipad, palipat-lipat. mula Pinas nagpunta ng disyerto tapos balik sa lupang sinilangan. naisip ko bigla, sana dumating yung panahon na may iisang bulaklak lang akong tutuntungan.

dahil mas marami pang mahalagang bagay kesa pag-eemote


Habang nakahiga ako katabi ng anak kong payapang natutulog na may konting paghihilik on the side, iniisip ko kung saan ako nagkamali sa pagsagot sa interview at exam ko kahapon sa isang kumpanya. andaming tanong bigla sa utak ko. bakit kaya hindi pa sila nagtetext. zero ba ko sa exam? hindi nila feel ang aura ko? pati ba naman sa non-voice bokya ako? hanggang mapunta sa saan ba ko nagkamali ng desisyon sa buhay at struggling pa din ako? nakakaguilty bigla na nag-anak ako pero hindi ko pa siya kayang bigyan ng magandang buhay na tutugma sa ideal na magandang buhay sa isip ko.

hanggang sa naalala ko hindi ko pa pala napaplantsa yung damit ng baby ko na nilabhan ni daddylabs. 

tapos may narinig ako sa isip ko na nagsabing “Cut! OA na!”

oo na, eto na nga, magpaplantsa na.

tattooed and proud


may kasabihan na pagnanganak ka at nagkaroon ka ng stretchmarks, “you’re a tiger who earned her stripes.” o sige salamat pampalubag loob din yun, pero hindi naman ako tigre. saka ung baby tiger nga pinanganak na may stripes tapos nanganak lang ako sasabihin nang I earned my stripes, sus. okay, so much for my cynicism.

mas maganda siguro kung sasabihing, you got tattooed. a proof that you’re body is an instrument to a miracle. etchos. pero seriously, hindi ako nagagandahan sa stretchmarks ko no matter how many people romanticized about having them. edi sana hindi mabenta yung bio oil at cocoa butter sa market. hindi ako nagagandahan but it doesn’t mean I am ashamed of them. parang mga peklat at tattoo ko, they are meant to tell stories. if you’re not interested, wag mong tingnan.

anyways, I got tattooed long back and I’m planning to get another soon! (lakas maka-segue!) hahaha pag may budget na at may time, I actually wanted to put a tattoo on top of my tummy stretchmarks but I read online that it would hurt more than it should and it might not look good because it’s distended skin. baka sa legs na lang siguro or sa likod ulit.😈 gusto ko ng handprint or footprint ng anak ko.

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charan! andami kong sinabi pero actually gusto ko lang talaga ng dahilan para maipost ulit tong piktyur ko na to. Hahahaha this was taken a few pounds ago. (excuse me for my malantod na pose) I know that not all of the people on this planet are excited at getting inked but sabi nga nila kanya-kanyang trip yan (so please don’t give me bullcrap reasons why I should not get another tattoo) parang sa pagbubuntis at panganganak, madami ang may gusto meron ding ayaw. kanya-kanyang disposisyon at pananaw.

P.S

I was contemplating whether to put a picture of my pregnancy stretchmarks but I decided to keep my stripes to myself. Maybe if I’m wearing a two-piece and decided to show them off to the word, I’d post them one day for sure, hahahaha 😈

addicted


well, apparently, tunay na nakakabusy pala ang maging mommy. puyat wagas. ung naipon kong fats pawala na, ung sa tummy ko na lang ata natira pero katiting na din (nakakatuwa ung tyan ko parang sa mama ko anlambot,hahaha).

sa instagram lang ako karaniwan nakakapagupdate kasi microblogging dun diba. anyways, magpopost sana ako ulit nung mapagmasdan ko ung mga recent posts ko sa IG, halos puro piktyur ng anak ko, hahahaha,

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sorry naman pero #sorrynotsorry pa din, I’m one of those newbie mommy na walang magawa kundi titigan ang anak at kuhaan ng piktyur although mild lang naman ung akin, hahaha

bakit


tinanong nila ko bakit hindi ako nagkukwento tungkol sa nakaraan,

sabi ko naman nakakapagod magpaliwanag kung bakit nangyari yung ganito yung ganyan. Bakit hindi ko kinukwento ung ganito yung ganyan, eh bakit ba?

tsaka basta, ayoko ng nagpapaliwanag tungkol sa buhay ko. buhay ko naman to.

tsaka kung ayaw nila sakin edi wag, chos, hahaha

confession of an inlababo


I have a confession to make.

When I agreed to be your girlfriend and I said I love you too, I did not mean it ( I just said it because it’s how its done in the movies). but, there’s a big BUT in there. I like you at that moment when I said “ano ba sinasabi ng babae kapag sinasagot na nya ung lalake” and I remembered you laugh. I regreted saying it as it was kind of a moronic question, but I’m a NBSB member before we met so what do you expect?It even weirded me out when I realized I like you. I mean, one look at you and I’m sure as hell others will agree that you give off that chickboy/bad boy vibe. Hitler’s (my dad) vibe when he was still in his prime according to my mom. One good girls (like me) should stay away from. Your sister even gave me a headstart and said ‘basta tol labas ako sa inyong dalawa ni kuya ah” which made me think twice before agreeing to go on a date with you. Would you believe that I almost backed out on our first date because I don’t think it’s a good idea to start with?

You might ask me why, Allow me to enumerate reasons not to go out with you.

Firstly, I don’t like egoistic guys and with my own definition of egoistic, you definitely fit in. Secondly, you’re talkative. I don’t like talkative guys that much. They are irritating to the ear. I for one is a quiet and a reserved person to start with so I thought why should I hang out with a talkies guy talkier than me? (I’d rather watch TV and listen to Boy abunda or John Lapus talking perky about a latest scandal of a famous showbiz personality.) Most of all, you’re very friendly to the opposite sex, a trait which most cheating bastards possess.

I could see imaginary flashing red lights warning me not to go but I still did. so why did I go out with you on that faithful day?

I was bored as hell because I wasn’t able to borrow ate ching’s laptop for a supposedly movie marathon. Ate Esther, my chatty roommate who’s fond of treating me to dinner and ice cream at the UP shopping center isn’t around. And above all, I was curious. I mean I haven’t been on a date since time immemorial. My first date experience was in jolibee and I can barely remember the face of the guy I went out with at that time. So I thought, why not give it a shot. Anyhow, it’s your treat meaning I’m not paying for anything so what do I have to lose? Also, I’ll get the chance to know if my impressions have some solid basis.

When we first went out, I was given advice what to do if ever you try to take advantage of me. One friend said that should you try to do something harassing, I should slap you with all my might and then walk out without looking back. Another one said I should scream my lungs out to get for help. One of my kuya-kuyahan even said, “ingatan mo ang puso mo, bata” and pat me on the head as if he’s a shaman blessing me to be protected from bad spirits. It’s quite silly but I can’t help but smile when I reminisce how they reacted when they found out I was going out on a date with you.

I thought that after our first date, you’ll realize what an ultimate bore I am but I was surprised that after our first date, comes the second, the third, the fourth, the fifth, the sixth, till I lost count how many times we went out.

How in the world did that happened? Was it like turned to love? Wondering when it started? I’m not so sure myself.

Was it the time you first texted and called me just to say you like me? (I almost fell of the bed when your message sink in)
Or was it the time that we watched I am legend and you let me borrow your jacket because I’m freezing cold?
Was it the time you hold my hand for the first time and you’re teasing me because my hand is icy and trembling?
Or was it the time you gave me yellow tulips?
Was it the time you offered to carry my bag knowing that I’ll decline because I’m too proud?
Or was it the time you gave your sister a chocolate for our tropa?
Was it the time you gave me a bouquet of flowers for valentines?
or was it the time you gave me an Ichigo(bleach) key chain? (which unfortunately is already decapitated)
Was it the time that you were able to persuade me to sing a Red Jumpsuit apparatus song?
Was it the time you confessed that when you treated me Tapsi from Roddicks before, you badly wanted the yolk which I don’t eat but you didn’t ask for it because you’re afraid that I’ll think that you’re a glutton?
Or was it the time you walked me home although it’s already late and you still need to travel like 2 hours just to get home to Bulacan?
Was it the time you brought me home and introduce me to your parents as your girlfriend?
Or was the time you made a love letter out of a bond paper (which reminded me of my excuse letter way back when I was still studying)?
Was it that time when we were world’s apart (LDR ang peg), but still, you managed to keep in touch and keep our love alive?

I still couldn’t remember when did I start falling and to tell you honestly, I’m still surprised that there is still “us” after more than 6 long years. I mean, we were apart for more than a year and you know how it goes with long distance relationships. Treasured promises ended up like castles in the sand, they just fade away.

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder but most often than not, they make the heart forget. But boy, I was surprised, you never did forget. You even helped me realize my dreams to work abroad. Sure it was tough, but you’re with me so I made it through.

It’s been almost a year since you asked me to marry you. And now, we only have a few weeks left till we say I do. We had it tough and maybe we’ll have it tougher but as long as we are together, I’m sure as hell we’ll be able to work things out so long as we want to. Our love story will never be perfect. But it’s damn real. We may never get to have our happily ever after all because we’re going to have so much more than that.