so a student from my alma mater sent me a pm via fb asking me to answer a survey regarding tracing alumni whereabouts

I’ve actually done this before but for a different batch and after answering their survey, I feel overly underachieved. If only being successful could be done by just reviewing for a certain exam or quiz and voila! You got a perfect score! but no, it’s like a maze cave that will keep your heads turn and make your stomach churn. I should know, I’m still on the journey and I have yet to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You know that feeling when you should be doing something more than what you’ve always been doing. something big. no erase that. something that you do that makes you feel worthy of yourself.

I’ve always felt I’m a mediocre student (you strive hard but still you’re always halfway to the top) and now I still feel the same, graduated decade ago but still the same mediocre person that I am. I don’t know. maybe it’s the lack of sleep that’s making me feel this way, it sucks.

anyhow, remember the part-time job I told you about? I think I’ll just let it go, I’m having second thoughts of continuing on it. First, the trainer/VA of the company owner doesn’t respect anyone’s time. There was this time that I was told that training starts at 7am only to be told later that it was moved to 9am. There was another time where I was made to wait 5 hours for training evaluation only to be told that she can’t make it because she has lots of tasks to finished. I mean, the world has invented many different ways of communication and they didn’t bother to tell us trainees earlier?I didn’t receive any apology for my time wasted and was told nothing will be paid for the time I waited because nothing was done. With just one week of being with them makes me pity myself, I mean, yes I approached them for a part-time job but it’s like I’m begging them for work. Is it my ego or pride? Or they’re just clueless or shameless. I’m still thinking. I had our laptop repaired and it cost me some money and if I have a part time perhaps I’d be able to earn the money I spent back. But still, I’m having bad vibes on this. I’m applying still but no luck.

Maybe I should have tried lottery again. Maybe I’ll get lucky. Gosh. Where have all the years gone by. A decade more and I’m on 40’s I’m still nowhere near a successful career or financial state where I could safely say my kids will go by swiftly, grow and graduate without financial strains. What the hell did I do during the past years….

shhhh mind. stop thinking…tomorrow is another day..

Just my two cents

Recently my 2nd elder sister posted a status update in FB saying “kelan ko kaya ulit makikita ang mga barkada ko, namimiss ko na sila”. My husband’s always updated on Fb and he immediately related my sister’s status update to me saying it’s inappropriate to post something like that considering my sister’s got huge responsibility having 7 kids on her back (one’s with us so there’s 6 remaining kids). I replied saying “tao pa din naman siya”. I mean I know my sister can really be selfish at times but I also know she cares for her kids. I mean once you become a parent, do you have to lose yourself in the process of being one? I don’t think so. I mean, your kids have to come first most of the time like 99% but isn’t it fair to keep atleast 1% for yourself? Otherwise how else would you keep your sanity? Perhaps those know-it-alls parents or not would say that’s bull because once you subjected yourself into creating another life, you have to be responsible for them like for the rest of your life. I don’t remember who said this to me not sure if it’s my mom or my sister, “kapag nagka-anak ka na, sa kanila na iikot ang mundo mo”. I mean this could be partly true coz nowadays my world literally revolves around my kids. I couldn’t remember the last time I stepped out of the house without my kids with me. Even when I work they’re with me though not the whole 8 hours otherwise they’ll throw into a tantrum.

Having kids will literally turn your world upside down. They did mine. But do I regret having them?No. I would always choose a life with them in it. But if I could go back, perhaps I would have had them at a later time when we have everything ready, house of our own, stable source of income where we don’t have to worry about what’s going to happen in the future. That could have been better but anyway I guess life’s like that, it always happens the least we expect it will.

Ooopps, this post got longer than it should. I just hope everything will turn out fine. Hope my kids will turn out happy and kind. I hope my parenting wouldn’t suck as I’m expecting it would. Hahaha. I think I talked too much today I mean I typed too much rather. Lack of sleep does that to you I guess.

Before I further blabber nonsense, I’d have to take off because I’m still working at this hour. 40 minutes more before my log out time. Shhh my son’s sleeping. Gotta shut up now.

love expert

so apparently dahil malapit na ako mawala sa kalendaryo, ang tingin sakin ng isa sa nakababatang katrabaho ko ay love expert.

imagine this. a 23 year old lady who’s into bar hopping is asking my expert opinion regarding her boyfriend. gusto kong tumawa ng bonggang bongga nung bigla niya kong kausapin out of the blue para humingi ng payo. pero dahil mukha siyang seryoso sinakyan ko na lang yung paniniwala niyang eksperto ako sa pag-ibig.

Ang problema niya? Yung jowabelles niyang 34 years old masyado daw malihim. Kesyo hindi daw kinukwento yung past kahit nagtatanong na siya. Dating nagbaballet daw yung lalake. Oo balerina. Yun ang sabi niya. Sa tuwing kinukulit niya ng mga detalye sa buhay, ang sinasabi ay “I’m new to this.” oh diba. Galawang veterans. Pero sumagi sa utak ko na pwedeng beki yung jowabelles niya.

Anyways,sabi ko pag past hindi na dapat inuusisa kaya nga past eh, hayaan niya kung magkukwento or hindi. Ang kaso pag yung tipong past eh yung tipong may asawa dati at may anak, ibang usapan na yun. At yung pagbaballet? Feeling ko red flag yun, nabanggit din ng girl na ito na balak na niyang pakasalan yung si boylet. Naisip kong itanong kung gaano na sila katagal, sabi niya 1 week. At naisip ko ding itanong kung may proposal nang naganap, wala din. Ayun nawindang ako. hahaha sabi ng iba wala sa tagal yung relasyon pero grabe naman yung 1 week. Whirlwind romance ang peg? At kasalan talaga agad? Wuuuhh mga kabataan ngayon. Hahahaha lakas makatanders ng sinabi ko ah. (kamot ulo)



yung akala mo sa isip mo hindi nakamove on yung katawan mo sa size 8 or 10 mong dress, edi sinuot mo, pagpasok mo sa trabaho at pagtingin sa salamin sa cr mukha ka palang suman na nilagyan ng beltbag. buti na lang may jacket ka. >:)

yung inutusan ka ng assistant manager ng quick run sa kabilang building para kuhain mo ang card reader mo na hindi mo pa napipick-up, hindi ka nagreklamo sa pagod, nagreklamo ka sa sakit ng tuhod. Flanax pa more! tapos kung iisipin mo dati umakyat ka pa ng bundok.

yung halos lahat ng katrabaho mo ang tawag sayo ate. Yung feeling na para silang nagmumura sa tuwing tinatawag kang “ate” dahil lalo nitong pinapamukha sayo yung edad mo. Hahaha. Pero sige na lang, hindi naman lahat ng tao pinapalad umabot sa ganitong edad, yung iba nadedeads ng maaga.

sabi nga nung mas bagets na si mommy Joy, you’re as old as you think. buti na lang isip bata ako ng beri beri light hahahahaha