sshhhh


so a student from my alma mater sent me a pm via fb asking me to answer a survey regarding tracing alumni whereabouts

I’ve actually done this before but for a different batch and after answering their survey, I feel overly underachieved. If only being successful could be done by just reviewing for a certain exam or quiz and voila! You got a perfect score! but no, it’s like a maze cave that will keep your heads turn and make your stomach churn. I should know, I’m still on the journey and I have yet to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You know that feeling when you should be doing something more than what you’ve always been doing. something big. no erase that. something that you do that makes you feel worthy of yourself.

I’ve always felt I’m a mediocre student (you strive hard but still you’re always halfway to the top) and now I still feel the same, graduated decade ago but still the same mediocre person that I am. I don’t know. maybe it’s the lack of sleep that’s making me feel this way, it sucks.

anyhow, remember the part-time job I told you about? I think I’ll just let it go, I’m having second thoughts of continuing on it. First, the trainer/VA of the company owner doesn’t respect anyone’s time. There was this time that I was told that training starts at 7am only to be told later that it was moved to 9am. There was another time where I was made to wait 5 hours for training evaluation only to be told that she can’t make it because she has lots of tasks to finished. I mean, the world has invented many different ways of communication and they didn’t bother to tell us trainees earlier?I didn’t receive any apology for my time wasted and was told nothing will be paid for the time I waited because nothing was done. With just one week of being with them makes me pity myself, I mean, yes I approached them for a part-time job but it’s like I’m begging them for work. Is it my ego or pride? Or they’re just clueless or shameless. I’m still thinking. I had our laptop repaired and it cost me some money and if I have a part time perhaps I’d be able to earn the money I spent back. But still, I’m having bad vibes on this. I’m applying still but no luck.

Maybe I should have tried lottery again. Maybe I’ll get lucky. Gosh. Where have all the years gone by. A decade more and I’m on 40’s I’m still nowhere near a successful career or financial state where I could safely say my kids will go by swiftly, grow and graduate without financial strains. What the hell did I do during the past years….

shhhh mind. stop thinking…tomorrow is another day..

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one bad shift doesn’t mean a bad life


so that was what I was telling myself over and over before I was able to force myself to work again today. You see, yesterday, my boss spoke to me via video-call and I got scolded big time. I haven’t felt this bad in a long time, makes me remember my dental clinic days when my assigned doctor would shove remorseful words down my throat.

anyhow, it started with a chat of how are you and asked me about the additional task he told me about, I totally forgot to send an email reply and just send my questions about the job, rates, trial period and all and then he said he’ll call to discuss. That’s when the scolding started, he said he was extremely insulted that I have the nerve to ask about pay increase when I didn’t’ have an idea of how a virtual assistant works. He said he expected me to just say yes and jump in 2 feet because it’s an additional skills. He even mentioned about me talking to his previous VA behind his back which is totally untrue because I don’t really have connection with his VA. I tried apologising like 3-4 times and he said he doesn’t care about apology and said he was extremely disappointed and insulted about the questions I’ve thrown at him. Honestly, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the questions I asked him, I wouldn’t have to ask them if he had been clear about details like rate increase, schedule change and trial period because he want one. I don’t know, I am extremely disappointed on how he handled my questions, I would have understood if he had declined the rate increase and explain in good faith the reason behind but all he did was telling how disappointed and insulted he was because of the questions I asked. If not for the cut-off coming up, I would have not woken up and attended my shit oh my shift today. okay that’s my ego talking, I needed the money so I attended my shift and that’s that. well, I felt like a 7-year-old kid being told not to ask questions because I’m too young to understand. Damn. Gotta find another job, or any part time soon..

ciao…

back from hiatus?


so there’s a lot going on right now, actually most of those are just happening inside my head and I just kind of lost the will to write something nice.

perhaps, the monotony of my homebased work is killing me or perhaps, I just don’t have it anymore, the drive to write something, well I’m not a writer in the first place and the reason I created this blog is to rant and stuff hahaha

and yeah, my boss is going to give me additional tasks and I’m past 6 months to this job and I’d like a salary raise which is next to impossible I think because I learned that my boss is a little stingy. I send him an email asking if those additional tasks comes with an increase and me passing the 6 months probation makes me eligible for an increase. did not receive a reply perhaps later today he’ll call and politely decline my request for a raise. so much for pessimism.

I just realised I haven’t doodled in a long time, I also haven’t updated my other site, so much to my disappointment coz I remember I told myself I’ll keep it updated as much as possible, have to find something motivating inside of me.

will have to sign out now because it’s already my lunch break..

year ender


2017  is a tough year for me. but yes, here I am, still alive and kicking.

Though this year has brought many struggles, I have also been showered with lots of blessings.

This year, we welcomed the new addition to our family, my son Sebastian. Though my pregnancy and delivery had been tough, God has made me even tougher and for that, I am very thankful.

Also, 2017 brought me my first online job and that is my being an ESL online tutor. In addition, I got my one-time project based job in Upwork (kahit 1 week lang at maliit ang bayad atleast may trabaho at dagdag sa experience at portfolio)

Another thing, I got myself enrolled in 2 online courses which I have yet to finish, hoping I’d be able to finish it in time before I attended my Freelancer online training next year. ooppps that’s like in 1 day? good luck to me, hahaha

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So yeah, 2017 had not been bad as I had expected it to be. I’m a bit doubtful whether 2018 would be a good year for me but as the saying goes, habang may buhay may pag-asa (as long as you are alive, you have hope, tama ba? hahaha)

So before 2017 ends, let me greet everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR! good luck to us all! 😛

 

you shall be remembered


Since I started watching the ejk trials updates on my fb account, I have always look forward to seeing you on the Senate. I’m always imagining what if you’re the one who’s grilling the witness, I’m sure as hell they must have peed on their pants. And those obnoxious senators who’s certainly a nuisance would have learned how to behave themselves in th senate.

You’re one of those very few politicians that I have the interest of listening to. Candid. Bright. Brutal. Witty. Those adjectives won’t even suffice to describe your dynamic personality. I ain’t a die-hard fan of yours but I deeply admire you. I actually bought one of your book (if that counts)

It’s such a loss that you have to go at this time but then, sabi mo nga you shall fade silently into the dark like batman. Pero parang hindi naman silent? Chos.

Anyways, maybe it’s really your turn to rest. You’ve done your service to the humanity and it’s high time someone else do it.

Well, until then madam senator MDS. Ciao.