New beginnings


One week has already passed since 2018. It’s been a very hectic and busy week for me. For one, I haven’t finished my Upwork freelance job which is supposedly good for a week only. Next is, I submitted lots of online applications and have scheduled interviews here and there (I even have an upcoming interview next Wednesday, good luck to me) also, interviews comes with tryouts so I have a long list of stuff to be done.  Unfortunately, I haven’t landed any permanent online job yet aside from my online tutorial. I’m still doing my ESL online tutorial and fortunately, almost all of my opened slots are booked.

Oh, I also submitted my resignation on my previous job which my TL didn’t take lightly because she guaranteed to the big bosses that I’d come back when I asked for a maternity leave extension so another bad record for me. I actually like my previous job minus the commuting part which takes ages, but, unfortunately, no one will be able to look after my 4-month-old baby because he has the tendency to cry non-stop at night and no one can soothe him except me (they tried but failed) so I have no option but to quit my job) My TL offered another ML extension because I reasoned for medical issues but I’m still undecided because I’m not sure what will be our plan for the future. I also don’t want to make promises I can’t keep and also wouldn’t want to put the company in jeopardy. I actually feel very guilty because my team’s performance would also be affected because I’m leaving, also, I had a good record before I went on leave but my kids come first.

decide

Anyhow, I’ll be texting my TL about my decision and I’m sure I’ll be scolded again because I am informing late again but que sera sera. I’m not a very good decision maker but they say bad decisions make good stories, don’t they?

I just have to trust that there is something good in every goodbye…

trust the magic of new beginnings

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online courses


I recently enrolled in an online course. I haven’t finished both yet but I hope I have enough motivation to finished them on time. The first course is Online Advertising course which is free of charge from Open2Study. I started this course last November 28 of this year but I have yet to finish it due to my extreme laziness and I’m doing ESL online tutorial on times when I’m on my hardworking moments. Also, I’m taking care of my 3-month-old baby who’s very clingy.

Another online course that I have enrolled in is Social Media Marketing Master Class which I am currently taking at SkillSuccess. I have just started this course today and I actually finished 1 module! Yey! (9 more to go!) This course is worth 199USD but fortunately, I found an online group of WAHM (work at home mom) where they offer coupons for online courses so I got this course for 300PHP only! The best thing about this course is you could study at your own pace plus you get to have verified certificate after finishing it.

I hope this will add more substance to my online resume once I started applying for an online job again.Oh well, if it doesn’t at least I have got another certificate under my name, hahaha.

p.s.

Being an online ESL tutor pays but it’s not as stable as a regular office job so I am hoping I’ll get another online job that pays better so I won’t have to come back to my regular office job. (Also, I’d like to continue breastfeeding my son for at least a year and I’m afraid that if I go back to my regular office job, I’d have a problem with my milk supply)

in addition, commuting SUCKS. so I am definitely aiming for an online job. please, please, please. somebody hire me, hahaha (desperate moves much?)

2018, I don’t want to say this because it’s so cliche, but please be good to me >:P

Teaching IELTS Speaking


Last night I opened 3 slots for today’s morning tutorial class. When I checked it around 9am, those slots were still empty so I figure, I’ll be free for the whole morning. Suddenly, I received an SMS at 9:20 that my 10am slot was booked so I cram to my workplace to read what I’ll be teaching today and my lesson material took me by surprise. The lesson title is “IELTS Speaking”.

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I was like WTF! I haven’t even taken IELTS exam yet and here I am trying to compose myself and reading through the teaching guide to somehow pull this tutorial class of mine. so wish me luck! (scratch head)

online tutor feels


So apparently, hindi porket pumasa ka na sa final demo, pagtututor na lang ang pagkakaabalahan mo dahil may mga scheduled training ka pang dapat attendan.

So I attended my day 2 BK12 training yesterday afternoon. This BK12 training is for us to get tagged or certified as BK12 instructor. They said if you got tagged, you’ll get more bookings. (I believe that this BK12 is like the K-12 program here in the Philippines.) It was fun though antok galore talaga ako nun. It took 3.5 hours to finish and after this BK12 training, I’m going to have a demo again which is scheduled on Wednesday. (ilan kayang demo pa ang dapat kong gawin, hahaha wish me luck :P)

We were given 2 lesson materials to choose from and I have yet to choose which material I’m going to use. One is for a very young learner, the preschool type of students and the other one is for grade school type of students. If it was my choice, I’d go for an adult student, not only they are easy to talk to, you won’t have to go the extra mile just to catch their attention. I have a 7 year old student from last week, he was cooperative enough but he was dancing the entire duration of our class it makes me dizzy. Good thing is that I was able to finish my class without scolding the student (pat my back) hahaha. The other day, I have a 4-year-old student who just keeps on repeating everything I say. I honestly don’t know how I was able to finish that lesson, hahaha, I just realized that in this line of homebased job, patience is definitely a virtue. 😛

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On the other hand, it’s nice meeting some folks who are very dedicated to what they do, (I’m talking about our trainers) Even if some of us who attended the training looks so damn sleepy and bored, they were able to conduct the session in a fun way. We even played games and sing some nursery rhymes to our embarrassment (hahaha because we had to make it look like we are singing with a kid with all the paraphernalia and gestures and facial expressions, it’s hard to do that when you’re with an adult at least for me, hehe)  By the way, after each training session, we also do a group picture. You can see our pictures from the BK training day 1 & 2 below. 😀

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a glimpse of my day


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supposedly, this photo would sum up what happened in my entire day today but I forgot to include taking my baby’s newborn screening results.

I’m glad to share that my baby’s NBS is normal! Thank goodness! I can relax for now.

Oppps! I forgot I can’t relax just yet. My baby’s having the side effects of the vaccine. She’s got fever and has been very fussy since she got the shot. I’ve been told to do cold compress in the afternoon and warm compress in the evening. I already gave her paracetamol to manage her pain and fever. I hope she’ll be okay tomorrow. 🙏

a piece of heaven


andami kong iniisip nitong mga nakaraang araw. siguro epekto ng puyat at tambay mode. pakiramdam ko wala kong direksyon. nakakapraning din pala yung ganitong buhay. lalangoy o lulubog. minsan nakakadepress lang. ready na kong makinig sa kantang emo at lunurin ang sarili ko sa nakakaurat na pakiramdam ko ngayon kaso bigla kong napatingin sa gilid ko.

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tapos naisip ko, may langit pala dito sa lupa. napangiti na lang ako.☺

metamorphosis


my little one’s a month old now! I’m telling you guys she’s got a bit of a temper but she’s adorable nonetheless.

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(start from upper left) inaantok. ginulo. nagising ang diwa, badtrip men! nagalit! Wahahaha

Time flies really fast! It was just yesterday that I’m feeling her kicks in my tummy and now she’s kicking me for real with matching eye rolling. I don’t know where she got her maldita tendencies though. hahahaha

Oh, my baby girl can sometimes be as princess-like if she would like to be but that would be when she’s peacefully sleeping 😴.

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our baby is now a little lady

I haven’t slept soundly for a longtime now but who am I to complain when just one smile of my little one makes it all worthwhile? (I’m definitely baby-whipped!hahaha)

just because


I posted my maternity photoshoot pictures before so now it’s my baby’s photoshoot snapshots this time😈😈😈

The photoshoot wasn’t as enjoyable as my maternity photoshoot was. My baby was very fussy and after the shoot, she developed rashes on her cheeks and forehead that I almost regret bringing her to the studio. Anyways, her photographs turned out nice so I guess it’s alright. She’s recovering from her rashes now, thank goodness.

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Ain’t she an angel?😚

my labor and delivery experience


My baby’s 11 days old now but I haven’t talked about my little one’s birth story. (I think I have had a pleasant birthing experience compared to the horrible birth story as told by some of the moms I know)😊

The day before I gave birth was my scheduled OB-gyne check-up. My doctor did an IE (internal examination) and said I was already at 2-3 centimeters. Since I haven’t had experience strong continuous contraction, I was sent home. She even prescribed Primrose capsule to help thin and dilate my cervix in preparation for my labor. Actually, I have been eating 6 pieces of Dates fruit per day for the last 4 weeks of my pregnancy because it also helps with labor and delivery. (according to studies, dates fruit helps with cervical dilation and reduces the duration of labor) I told my OB about this and she said it seems effective since my cervix was softer the last time she did an examination. Anyways, since I’m already 39 weeks that time and hasn’t had labored yet, I took Primrose as well that night.

It was around 2:30 am the next day (February 21) when I felt a throbbing pain from my back radiating to the front coupled with my tummy hardening with a few minutes interval. I have had contraction before (Braxton-hicks) but this one’s different because no matter what position I tried to do, the pain doesn’t go away. I recorded my contraction and noticed that it has become regularly strong although it has a short duration. The pain was still bearable so I decided to sleep through it but it still wakes me up from time to time. I knew right then that I’ll soon be meeting my little angel.

Come 4:30 am, the radiating back pain continues together with my tummy getting hard so I woke up my husband. He told me to take a bath already to prepare to go to the hospital but after bathing, I felt better although I already have bloody show. I told my husband it’s not yet time.

We were able to attend the morning worship service and do some stuff at home. My mom and I was even able to sweep the backyard despite the pain that I was feeling. When lunch came, I only eat so little (I was more anxious about passing poop during my delivery than the delivery itself, yeah, it sounds crazy coming from a nurse like me considering I’ve witnessed lots of labor and delivery cases with patients pooping and delivering a baby at the same time. I just can’t imagine it happening to me though 😱)

After we had our lunch, it was then that the pain was becoming constantly strong it’s so annoying that I told my husband it’s time to go to the hospital. I texted my OB about my condition and asked how to proceed. She instructed that I be sent to the ER and be checked there.

We arrived at the hospital around 1pm. They took my admission paper (prepared by my OB weeks before my duedate) and asked some information and identification cards. They made me lie on the bed, remove my clothes, put on a hospital gown and diaper, took my vital signs and attached an intravenous line. The doctor on duty did an IE and I was only at 3 cm that time but since I again had bloody show, they continued with the admission. After a few minutes, I was transferred to the labor room because the private room where I will be admitted isn’t prepared yet. I think I stayed there for 2-3 hours together with my husband and my mom. My labor pains continued as the nurses and doctors come and go for vitals signs monitoring like every 30 minutes (though I’m not sure about the time intervals as I can barely concentrate on my surroundings because of the pain that I was feeling).

I remembered being transferred to the private room which was very near to the delivery room. When I got transferred there, I remember seeing my OB and she instructed to administer Buscophan via IV. She keeps on checking my cervix (via IE) and she’s doing stripping as well to facilitate labor. When I reached around 7-8 cm, I think that’s the time they gave me an Oxytocin drip (this is to speed up my labor and to make my contractions more effective). I believe they have administered a pain reliever before the Oxy drip although I’m not sure if it was Morphine or Demerol.

My mom and my husband were there throughout my labor and I am more than thankful. My mother would encourage me to walk around the room to manage the pain and facilitate my contraction. On the other hand, my husband would occasionally hold my hand and kiss my forehead although I keep on telling him to stay away (I remember myself telling him this, “wag kang lumapit, susuntukin kita!”). Yes, that’s what labor does to you, from your composed and calmed persona you find yourself turning into a monster 👹, hahaha) He would always ask my pain scale of 1-10 to which I would always answer 8 or 9. He would instruct me to do deep breathing and would occasionally talk to my baby not to torture me much. All through out my labor and delivery, not once did I rate my pain as 10. For me, I’d rate my pain as 10 if it’s enough to get me into tears to which my labor did not. However, I’m not telling that my labor and delivery was a piece of cake just because I did not reach the maximum pain rate. I can confirm what my sister said, “pag naglalabor ka, buhok mo lang ang hindi masakit.” Everything just fucking hurts you just want to get over it.

After some more time, I think I was at 8-9 cm when my OB decided it was time for me to go to the delivery room. According to my mom, I was wheeled inside DR around 7:30 pm. I remembered being transferred three times from bed to bed it was exhausting and annoying. I remembered being transferred to the DR bed and being put into lithotomy position. An oxygen cannula was attached to me and right then, my journey to never ending pushing started. Every time I got contraction, I was instructed to push. I push hard and strong lots of times but it still wasn’t enough for my baby to come out. Since I’ve been there for more than just a few minutes, my OB decided to ask another doctor (the Pediatrician who’s supposed to catch my baby) to do fundal pushing. It took 3 rather painful and literally breathtaking fundal push until my baby came out. I remembered hearing my baby cry. Alas! My Sophia Avery was delivered at 8:35pm. (I actually thought for a minute that I’ll die not because of my labor and delivery but because of the forceful fundal push to which I gladly didn’t.)

After my delivery, everything was a blur. I remember to have woken up already in my assigned room and my vitals being checked by a nurse. The first thing I noticed was my tummy was way smaller. Only then it sinked in that I have already given birth. I scanned my room for signs of my baby but she wasn’t there. I immediately asked the nurse who’s doing the checking and was assured that my baby was in the nursery room and will be roomed in soon.

My husband and my mom immediately attended to me and asked how I was feeling. They prepared soup and drinks for me. I remember feeling drained. My arms and knees are wobbly. It feels like Mt. Pulag again only it wasn’t. They told me my baby was a bright eyed beauty. They said they took pictures although I don’t remember anything about that. They also told me that Nanay, Tatay, Wewel and Maida came to visit but I barely remember seeing them. Maida told me that I even talked to her but I was so groggy.

I slept for a few more hours and finally, the nurse on duty roomed in my baby. I was told she cried the whole time she was away from me. She has this unique cry that it sounds like she was hurting so much although she wasn’t. I have a feeling she’ll get spoiled because of this. When I get to hold my baby, different emotions crawl through me. I mean, can you imagine, me? A mother? If you asked me decades ago if I picture myself a mother, my answer will be downright NO. I ain’t sweet, I ain’t responsible and I’m freaking lazy which disqualifies me to be one. But when I was holding that tiny creature who looks so delicate, right there and then, I had convicted myself to try hard to become the mother this child would ever need. 

Indeed, I have given birth to a miracle.

(below are some pictures during my labor and delivery)

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Being a mother is both a blessing and a responsibility. I pray to God that I’ll be able to give justice to the word.