sa isang kisapmata

convo with Piatot

me: Pia, makinig ka sakin nak. wag ka na pupupu sa diaper, ha. big girl ka na.

Piatot: opo mommy

me: lagi mo sinasabing opo ginagawa mo pa din

Piatot: nuod ako Peppa Pig and George mommy kaya pupu ako diaper

me: hindi na un pwede big ka na nga (umiinit na ang ulo ko)

Piatot: mommy dami ko friends

me: iniiba mo na naman usapan eh

Piatot: dami ko friends, avery, anna, ate Diane

me: o tapos (wala na naiba na usapan)

Piatot: dami ko friends pero mommy bespren ko, bespren tayo mommy

me: (heart melting)

aughh wala lang



when you had to deal with fears you never had

kahapon napanuod ko sa tv na ibinalita ung MOMO challenge kung saan nililink ung pagkamatay nung batang uminom ng 21 tabs of anti-gout. tapos nagbrowse ako sa fb at nakita ko na naman un. may nakita din akong post ng isang mom wherein while her daughter was watching Peppa Pig in Youtube kids, there was a sudden clip that was shown that gives step by step instruction on how to slice one’s wrist.

Ayun, kinilabutan ako ng bongga at nag-alala ng husto para kina Piatot at Bastelog ko. Jusme, anung klaseng mga tao naman ung gumagawa ng ganun. Bakit mga bata pa ung tinatarget nila.

Kakapanuod ko lang din ng babiesforsaleph ni Atom Araullo nung isang araw at sobra din akong naapektuhan. May mga batang ilang araw pa lang binebenta na ng magulang online tapos meron din nagnanakaw pa ng anak ng iba. Tapos meron pa na nangunguha ng bata para kuhaan ng internal organs. Jusmelord, iniisip ko pa lang gawin nila un sa anak ko, napapraning na ako na nababaliw na mamamatay.

dahil sa mga nababasa at napapanuod ko sa tv at online, parang gusto kong ibalik sa tyan ko ung dalawa kong junakis para lagi ko lang silang kasama. parang pwede naman un…hahaha

sabi ko sa nag-aalaga ng anak ko, oras na mangyari ung ganun sakin, (jusme ni sa panaginip wag naman) gagamitin ko lahat ng resources ko para huntingin ung gumawa ng game at pipira-pirasuhin ko sila, pag naman ung mga nangunguha ng bagets para ibenta or kuhanan ng organs, papahirapan ko sila ng husto hanggang sa iwish nila na sana hindi na lang sila pinanganak sa mundong ibabaw.

grabe. matagal ko nang alam na mahirap na maging nanay pero iba pa din pala pag ikaw na nakakaexperience, ganito pala na sobrang nakakapraning.

iniisip ko si mama. gaano kaya kahirap sa kanya na sobrang independent ako nun simula elem gang grumadweyt para pakawalan ako at hayaan akong gawin ang mga gusto ko ng mag-isa.

ako kaya pano ko un gagawin sa mga anak ko, hahaha

grabe. my thoughts are running wild at this wee hours of the night…

dernier cri

since I already promoted my newest site, allow me to promote my new online shop as well in IG, hahaha,

I introduce you all to Dernier Cri, just search for it’s IG username which is “” and you’ll find preloved/unused/brand new clothes and other stuffs that I’m selling๐Ÿ˜Š

I was hesitant at first to open an online shop because I wasn’t really the business woman type but I decided to still go for it just for the sake of trying. hahaha Dernier Cri is a French word for “the newest fashion”. It’s a little ironic because it says newest when in fact most of the items that I’m selling are preloved but I went for it because I wanted something catchy and unique (only to find out that there are 5-10 more online IG shops with the same name) hahaha so much for uniqueness. Anyway, I launched it a few days ago and I still have a small number of followers the reason I am promoting it here hahaha, my objective so far is to get rid of the items I’ve posted and if everything went well, I might continue selling other pre-order stuffs there. I have a friend from a previous company offering to be my supplier for korean/japanese/chinese stuffs like dresses, beauty products etcetera. Oh well, que sera sera, wish me luck๐Ÿ˜Š


my little one’s a month old now! I’m telling you guys she’s got a bit of a temper but she’s adorable nonetheless.


(start from upper left) inaantok. ginulo. nagising ang diwa, badtrip men! nagalit! Wahahaha

Time flies really fast! It was just yesterday that I’m feeling her kicks in my tummy and now she’s kicking me for real with matching eye rolling. I don’t know where she got her maldita tendencies though. hahahaha

Oh, my baby girl can sometimes be as princess-like if she would like to be but that would be when she’s peacefully sleeping ๐Ÿ˜ด.


our baby is now a little lady

I haven’t slept soundly for a longtime now but who am I to complain when just one smile of my little one makes it all worthwhile? (I’m definitely baby-whipped!hahaha)


well, apparently, tunay na nakakabusy pala ang maging mommy. puyat wagas. ung naipon kong fats pawala na, ung sa tummy ko na lang ata natira pero katiting na din (nakakatuwa ung tyan ko parang sa mama ko anlambot,hahaha).

sa instagram lang ako karaniwan nakakapagupdate kasi microblogging dun diba. anyways, magpopost sana ako ulit nung mapagmasdan ko ung mga recent posts ko sa IG, halos puro piktyur ng anak ko, hahahaha,


sorry naman pero #sorrynotsorry pa din, I’m one of those newbie mommy na walang magawa kundi titigan ang anak at kuhaan ng piktyur although mild lang naman ung akin, hahaha

my labor and delivery experience

My baby’s 11 days old now but I haven’t talked about my little one’s birth story. (I think I have had a pleasant birthing experience compared to the horrible birth story as told by some of the moms I know)๐Ÿ˜Š

The day before I gave birth was my scheduled OB-gyne check-up. My doctor did an IE (internal examination) and said I was already at 2-3 centimeters. Since I haven’t had experience strong continuous contraction, I was sent home. She even prescribed Primrose capsule to help thin and dilate my cervix in preparation for my labor. Actually, I have been eating 6 pieces of Dates fruit per day for the last 4 weeks of my pregnancy because it also helps with labor and delivery. (according to studies, dates fruit helps with cervical dilation and reduces the duration of labor) I told my OB about this and she said it seems effective since my cervix was softer the last time she did an examination. Anyways, since I’m already 39 weeks that time and hasn’t had labored yet, I took Primrose as well that night.

It was around 2:30 am the next day (February 21) when I felt a throbbing pain from my back radiating to the front coupled with my tummy hardening with a few minutes interval. I have had contraction before (Braxton-hicks) but this one’s different because no matter what position I tried to do, the pain doesn’t go away. I recorded my contraction and noticed that it has become regularly strong although it has a short duration. The pain was still bearable so I decided to sleep through it but it still wakes me up from time to time. I knew right then that I’ll soon be meeting my little angel.

Come 4:30 am, the radiating back pain continues together with my tummy getting hard so I woke up my husband. He told me to take a bath already to prepare to go to the hospital but after bathing, I felt better although I already have bloody show. I told my husband it’s not yet time.

We were able to attend the morning worship service and do some stuff at home. My mom and I was even able to sweep the backyard despite the pain that I was feeling. When lunch came, I only eat so little (I was more anxious about passing poop during my delivery than the delivery itself, yeah, it sounds crazy coming from a nurse like me considering I’ve witnessed lots of labor and delivery cases with patients pooping and delivering a baby at the same time. I just can’t imagine it happening to me though ๐Ÿ˜ฑ)

After we had our lunch, it was then that the pain was becoming constantly strong it’s so annoying that I told my husband it’s time to go to the hospital. I texted my OB about my condition and asked how to proceed. She instructed that I be sent to the ER and be checked there.

We arrived at the hospital around 1pm. They took my admission paper (prepared by my OB weeks before my duedate) and asked some information and identification cards. They made me lie on the bed, remove my clothes, put on a hospital gown and diaper, took my vital signs and attached an intravenous line. The doctor on duty did an IE and I was only at 3 cm that time but since I again had bloody show, they continued with the admission. After a few minutes, I was transferred to the labor room because the private room where I will be admitted isn’t prepared yet. I think I stayed there for 2-3 hours together with my husband and my mom. My labor pains continued as the nurses and doctors come and go for vitals signs monitoring like every 30 minutes (though I’m not sure about the time intervals as I can barely concentrate on my surroundings because of the pain that I was feeling).

I remembered being transferred to the private room which was very near to the delivery room. When I got transferred there, I remember seeing my OB and she instructed to administer Buscophan via IV. She keeps on checking my cervix (via IE) and she’s doing stripping as well to facilitate labor. When I reached around 7-8 cm, I think that’s the time they gave me an Oxytocin drip (this is to speed up my labor and to make my contractions more effective). I believe they have administered a pain reliever before the Oxy drip although I’m not sure if it was Morphine or Demerol.

My mom and my husband were there throughout my labor and I am more than thankful. My mother would encourage me to walk around the room to manage the pain and facilitate my contraction. On the other hand, my husband would occasionally hold my hand and kiss my forehead although I keep on telling him to stay away (I remember myself telling him this, “wag kang lumapit, susuntukin kita!”). Yes, that’s what labor does to you, from your composed and calmed persona you find yourself turning into a monster ๐Ÿ‘น, hahaha) He would always ask my pain scale of 1-10 to which I would always answer 8 or 9. He would instruct me to do deep breathing and would occasionally talk to my baby not to torture me much. All through out my labor and delivery, not once did I rate my pain as 10. For me, I’d rate my pain as 10 if it’s enough to get me into tears to which my labor did not. However, I’m not telling that my labor and delivery was a piece of cake just because I did not reach the maximum pain rate. I can confirm what my sister said, “pag naglalabor ka, buhok mo lang ang hindi masakit.” Everything just fucking hurts you just want to get over it.

After some more time, I think I was at 8-9 cm when my OB decided it was time for me to go to the delivery room. According to my mom, I was wheeled inside DR around 7:30 pm. I remembered being transferred three times from bed to bed it was exhausting and annoying. I remembered being transferred to the DR bed and being put into lithotomy position. An oxygen cannula was attached to me and right then, my journey to never ending pushing started. Every time I got contraction, I was instructed to push. I push hard and strong lots of times but it still wasn’t enough for my baby to come out. Since I’ve been there for more than just a few minutes, my OB decided to ask another doctor (the Pediatrician who’s supposed to catch my baby) to do fundal pushing. It took 3 rather painful and literally breathtaking fundal push until my baby came out. I remembered hearing my baby cry. Alas! My Sophia Avery was delivered at 8:35pm. (I actually thought for a minute that I’ll die not because of my labor and delivery but because of the forceful fundal push to which I gladly didn’t.)

After my delivery, everything was a blur. I remember to have woken up already in my assigned room and my vitals being checked by a nurse. The first thing I noticed was my tummy was way smaller. Only then it sinked in that I have already given birth. I scanned my room for signs of my baby but she wasn’t there. I immediately asked the nurse who’s doing the checking and was assured that my baby was in the nursery room and will be roomed in soon.

My husband and my mom immediately attended to me and asked how I was feeling. They prepared soup and drinks for me. I remember feeling drained. My arms and knees are wobbly. It feels like Mt. Pulag again only it wasn’t. They told me my baby was a bright eyed beauty. They said they took pictures although I don’t remember anything about that. They also told me that Nanay, Tatay, Wewel and Maida came to visit but I barely remember seeing them. Maida told me that I even talked to her but I was so groggy.

I slept for a few more hours and finally, the nurse on duty roomed in my baby. I was told she cried the whole time she was away from me. She has this unique cry that it sounds like she was hurting so much although she wasn’t. I have a feeling she’ll get spoiled because of this. When I get to hold my baby, different emotions crawl through me. I mean, can you imagine, me? A mother? If you asked me decades ago if I picture myself a mother, my answer will be downright NO. I ain’t sweet, I ain’t responsible and I’m freaking lazy which disqualifies me to be one.ย But when I was holding that tiny creature who looks so delicate, right there and then, I had convicted myself to try hard to become the mother this child would ever need.ย 

Indeed, I have given birth to a miracle.

(below are some pictures during my labor and delivery)




Being a mother is both a blessing and a responsibility. I pray to God that I’ll be able to give justice to the word.

achievement unlocked!

my baby’s umbilical cord has fallen off!yey!oh, by the way, she’s now one week old! (insert happy me here ๐Ÿ˜)

I have taken a picture of my baby’s cord together with the clamp. I know it might look gross but I don’t care. #sorrynotsorry

2016-02-28 09.20.46 1_20160228215550359

By the way, I have another good news, I’ve expressed breastmilk up to 3 ounces! Thanks to malunggay capsule! Thanks to sabaw ng halaan made by tatay and other sabaw that they keep on preparing for me. I’m so happy to give breastmilk to my little Sophia. Aside from the famous line that “breastmilk is best for babies”, breastfeeding gives me a chance to bond with my baby. It also gives me that “mommy na talaga ako” feeling.


Tada! I hope I’d be able to express more milk as weeks and months go by. Wish me luck peeps! ๐Ÿ˜‰