death penalty for rape


I was browsing my FB newsfeed when a post caught my eye. Streaks of blood in a hospital floor. I got curious and I read through the article then I got furious. A 5 year old female kid was raped. Yes. Raped. Her lower part was bleeding so much the nurse and bystanders thought she got caught up in an accident. No info was given regarding who did that unimaginable thing to an innocent kid. I hope they rot in hell real bad. I hope someone will make them pay. I actually wish them dead so they’ll do no further harm.

I wish for death penalty as a punishment to those fucking rapist. Sa mga pabibo na magsasabing hindi kamatayan ang sagot, tangina sabihin niyo yan sa limang taong gulang na binaboy ng mga rapist na yun. At sa mga iba pang pabibo na magsasabing buti nga hindi pinatay, sabihin nyo yan sa batang yun at sa lahat ng biktima ng rape na kahit matanda na sila ramdam at tanda nila ung kababuyang ginawa sa kanila. I should know. Someone close to me was almost raped and she still has nightmares until now. How much more to those rape victims? Pano nila haharapin ung kinabukasan?It would take a lifetime perhaps more to move on sa ganyang pangyayari sa buhay.

Pamura na din sa mga victim blamers na nagsasabing walang mararape kung maayos manamit. Punyeta sabihin nyo sakin kung kamaniac maniac ba ung 5 years old na batang babae na nakapantulog.

Gigil na gigil ako sa nangyari sa batang yun at ipinapanalangin kong makayanan nya yung dagok na un sa buhay niya. I wish no other kids, women or man shall suffer the way she did. Fuck rapists. Fuck drugs. Fuck evil.

Sorry naman sa puro murang post. Gigil much talaga ko. May anak akong babae. I couldn’t imagine what is going on inside that kid’s mom and dad’s mind. Just imagining something horrible like that might happen to my kids makes me want to go on a rampage. Ay talaga naman. maghahalo ang balat sa tinalupan.

don’t count the eggs before they are hatched…


as of now, may 2 akong work online. ung isa full time tapos isang part-time.

supposedly may isa pa kong part-time as CS sa isang website na may adult content. kahapon ung start ko pero unfortunately kahapon din ako tinanggal hahaha ang sakit besh. nageexpect na ko ng dagdag income. ung kahit hindi ako familiar sa mga products nila na mala-50 Shades of Grey gora lang ako kasi 2 hrs per day lang tapos ayun ambilis lang. Wala pa kong nakakaisang araw na natapos tanggal agad. Ganito kasi un, ang sabi sakin log in time ko is 1PM till 2 PM PST so nung sumapit ung time na un inopen ko si Hubstaff at nagclick ng start time. From time to time, chinecheck ko ung mailbox for any customers email at pati website at mga email drafts para mafamiliarize sa work-around process. Isang oras at kalahati ung lumipas, nakadalawang emails lang ako so sabi ko petiks sabay nagemail ung bossing sabi “very low productivity” tapos biglang nawalan na ko ng access sa CS mailbox pati sa mga dropbox folders and email drafts. Nagreply ako na ano gagawin ko, wala namang email na dumating maliban sa 2 customer emails. Hindi na nila ko nireplayan gang kanina lang sabi nung Pinay na senior CS, dapat daw icclick ko lng ung start sa Hubstaff pag may ginagawa akong email inshort ndi xa continuous unless madami tlagang gawa. So aun, masama ng konti ung loob ko kasi last week pa lng nagtanong na ko sa kanya kung paano ung proseso sa company, pano ung ganito ganyan tapos nakadalawang email pa ko pero nganga. walang reply. Tapos isang email lng ni bossing reply siya agad tapos kineclaim nya pa na dalawang beses siyang nagpadala ng email sakin regarding those info. duh. shunga ba ko. if may malinaw na instructions at orientation silang binigay edi sana ndi ko irrun ung Hubstaff ng tuloy tuloy kahit walang gawa. Saka nakakainis lang kasi oras mo ung binabayaran supposedly tapos ang gusto per email eh wala naman sa job post nila un. ah basta unfair.

anyhow, magmomove on na ako, nagtanong ako if part pa ba ko ng team or terminated na ko eh kaso wala na namang reply so inalis ko na sila sa OLJ profile ko as part-time employer. gusto nila ganyanan eh.

so far, pangalawa na sila sa ungas na employer na naencounter ko from OLJ. ung isa sa sobrang pagkaungas, pinagwork kami (anim kami puro Pinay freelancers) one week un (ako 4hours for 3 days lang trinabaho kasi late hired) tapos biglang the next week wala na kami lahat access sa folders and everything tapos siya super reklamo na incapable kami kaya pinalitan nya kami at hindi din binayaran. Oo ikaw un CEO ng Gold Virtual Assistant, Ms. Arriana Cromartie. buti na lang natanggal na siya sa OLJ at ung mga kasamahan ko nagfile na ng report sa kung saan sang site na pwede siya ireport.

may karma din kayo. hmpp.

too much feelings and stuff


I’m not really sure what’s with the big 3 age but I feel gayish or girlish when I hit that age.

I’m not a fan of pink but when I learned that I had to have an experience in hospital, the crocs I added in my Lazada cart was pink or old rose was it. The navy blue crocs didn’t entice me at all. Maybe it’s because my daughter loves pink and the loathe I have against that color has since diminished coz pink is mostly what my daughter wears.

I’m browsing lots and lots of dresses, with lace and looking at a lot of beige and old rose tones. Also, I’m digging make-up now. I’m a powder and lipbalm kinda girl but now I have eyelash curler, lipstick, concealer, eyebrow liner (though I have yet to learn how to put a killer kilay), cheek and lip tint, primer, face powder, BB cream, blush on and sunscreen (which I recently bought just because I saw Belo sunscreen review and they said it’s a good substitute for BB cream or primer or foundation and whatnot) I haven’t tried putting on a full face make and I don’t think I ever would but who knows. I don’t know I just suddenly got interested in make-up maybe because my eldest sister keeps on telling me her make-up stuff..

Oh, I have good news, I have found a part-time job, 4hrs only and I just started training monday morning so less sleep for me this week. I’m getting a little bad vibes coz trainings and evaluations doesn’t start on time like they say it’s 6:30am and you end up waiting till 9:30am and that sucks coz I’m still on duty with my previous/current and that amount of time they made me wait should have been my sleeping time. I hope training and eval finished fast and I hope I’ll pass so this time their eating would give me something to hold on to. I’m still applying to some other jobs though..

I’m thinking of having a pixie hair cut but I have a frizzy curly hair which I think would look like a messy bird’s nest but whenever I see ladies with pixie hair I couldn’t help but wanting that hairstyle. I ordered a keratin treatment set in Lazada so I could do my hair myself and will save time and money from going to salon and will save me from talkative hairstylist looking for money tip (though they’re not all like that but in my experience most of them are)

so something happened and I’m not supposed to talk about it but I feel like I’m in the middle of 2 stones wherein if I say something they’d be a little emotionally affected and I’m guilty because I feel like I’m an accessory and shit. So I should shut up before I say anything I’m not supposed to.

p.s. I recently learned I don’t need to have a hospital experience coz something came up and it could be fixed so there’s need for the pink crocs

p.s. again.. I’m not really into the training sesh with a crappy time on my part time job but I just spent money on our laptop to be fixed for this part time and I don’t really want it to go to waste. I’ll keep looking for online jobs I guess..

p.s. I’m currently convincing myself about the white lies and stuff but I honestly think it’s still lying but really what people don’t know won’t hurt them. or maybe sometimes white lies keep stuff together..

ciao.. maybe I’m blabbering too much shit because of lacking sleep. I’m sorry to all the sleep I have faked before when I was a kid.

one bad shift doesn’t mean a bad life


so that was what I was telling myself over and over before I was able to force myself to work again today. You see, yesterday, my boss spoke to me via video-call and I got scolded big time. I haven’t felt this bad in a long time, makes me remember my dental clinic days when my assigned doctor would shove remorseful words down my throat.

anyhow, it started with a chat of how are you and asked me about the additional task he told me about, I totally forgot to send an email reply and just send my questions about the job, rates, trial period and all and then he said he’ll call to discuss. That’s when the scolding started, he said he was extremely insulted that I have the nerve to ask about pay increase when I didn’t’ have an idea of how a virtual assistant works. He said he expected me to just say yes and jump in 2 feet because it’s an additional skills. He even mentioned about me talking to his previous VA behind his back which is totally untrue because I don’t really have connection with his VA. I tried apologising like 3-4 times and he said he doesn’t care about apology and said he was extremely disappointed and insulted about the questions I’ve thrown at him. Honestly, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the questions I asked him, I wouldn’t have to ask them if he had been clear about details like rate increase, schedule change and trial period because he want one. I don’t know, I am extremely disappointed on how he handled my questions, I would have understood if he had declined the rate increase and explain in good faith the reason behind but all he did was telling how disappointed and insulted he was because of the questions I asked. If not for the cut-off coming up, I would have not woken up and attended my shit oh my shift today. okay that’s my ego talking, I needed the money so I attended my shift and that’s that. well, I felt like a 7-year-old kid being told not to ask questions because I’m too young to understand. Damn. Gotta find another job, or any part time soon..

ciao…

hindi pa panahon


ang tumal ng ESL tutorial ko these past few days, swerte na maka-apat na klase ako sa isang araw, nung minsan nga wala talaga. sabi nung coach ko examination week daw kasi kaya walang mga students, sabi naman nung iba, nung natag sila na BK12 teacher humina talaga ang booking nila, feeling ko trulalu talaga ung theory nung isang co-teacher ko na feeling nung mga adult students, once tagged kami as BK12 teacher, focus kami sa mga gradeschool/preschool students. eh pano ba naman kasi, ung mga regular adult students ko, nawaley lahat, ayan tuloy nahahaggard ako sa pagtuturo ng mga preschool/gradeschool students.

anyhow, may nakita akong job post sa isang work-at-home-mom group na sinalihan ko regarding a live healthcare virtual assistant at feeling ko literal na umilaw ung mata ko kasi nakita ko sa requirements, nurse or allied health sciences. sabi ko sa sarili ko this is it pansit, baka pwede ko dito kahit wala pa kong experience as VA so nag-apply ako.  (maganda ung rate per hour tapos pwede 4-8 hours ung working hours na pagpipilian pero yun nga lang night shift siya) sobrang excited ako kasi the day after ko magsubmit, nagreply sila regarding sa requirements saka ung exam na dapat ipasa before maiskedyul ka for initial interview. madaming requirements pero ung sa exam talaga ko tumagal. may sinend na mp3 voice clip tapos itatranscribe tapos pag nagsend back ka, dapat imention mo kung gano mo katagal tnranscribe ung voice clip. live charting ung laman, may doctor na nagsasalita tapos dinidictate nya ung patient name, DOB, chief complaint, subjective at objective tapos treatment plan, apat na pasyente yun pero dahil sa bilis ng pagsasalita kailangan ko iislowmo at kailangan ko pang magreview ng medical terminologies dahil nakalimutan ko na ung iba. Hindi ko natapos agad ung voice clip siguro mga 3 days ko natapos eh 13 minutes plus lang yun eh syempre pwede ko lng siya asikasuhin pag tulog si bastetot. pero ayun natapos ko naman, pero if ieestimate ko mga 8 hours ko siguro ginawa yun, grabehan lang, pero yun talaga nilagay kong time (kasi ayoko namang magpanggap na nadalian ako tapos pag live charting na goodluck na lng bigla diba) nung sinend ko nung requirements, at sa kasamaang-palad hindi na sila nagreply, ahuhuhu, nakakalungkot.

may 2 days na kong nagseself-pity kasi nalulungkot talaga ko, gusto kong magdeactivate ng facebook at IG kasi mas lalo nilang pinapamukha na underaccomplished akong tao, alam mo un, 30, rank and file na empleyado nakaML pero magreresign pagbalik, walang ipon, walang sariling bahay,  pakiramdam ko wala kong narating sa buhay, over lang? hahaha, tapos makikita mo ung isang batchmate mo na nangongopya sayo dati nalibot na ata buong mundo dahil sa magandang work niya, hayyy sarap lang minsan magpakalunod sa lahat ng negatibong nararamdaman ko pero syempre hindi pwede malunod dun kasi nanay na nga pala ko. ganito ba ung tinatawag nilang adulting?doneadulting21 kalurky naman. kaya dito na lang ako maglalabas ng nararamdaman ko, chos. ow well. siguro hindi pa panahon. siguro nagmamadali ako. kung ano’t anoman eh wala talaga eh, ganun talaga, haha, atleast may ESL tutorial sideline ako, salamat na din. hindi pa naman katapusan ng mundo. may bukas pa. saka may nagmamahal pa naman sakin, hahaha

 

 

 

Mad


I’m sick. I’ve got colds that I barely taste anything I eat or drink. I cough and bark like a dog nonstop. I’m pregnant and instead of gaining weight, I just lost 1 kilo in just 2 weeks. My teeth hurts so much it feels like they are going to fall out anytime. I had to take lots of meds plus my vitamins and just by looking at them makes me vomit.. I’m getting mad. Paracetamol doesn’t alleviate the pain I’m in right now. Fast forward please where art thou..

how does it feel


when you’re on your late twenties and still feel the odd one out

confusing. on my part because I’m already old enough to be equipped with social skills and yet I don’t apply it. I’m not just good with people. I’ll smile, talk a bit and that’s that. Period.

surprisingly, even though I don’t quite fit in where I am right now,  I don’t care at all as long as I’m doing my job and at the end of the shift, I’ll go home with my daddylabs and babylabs.  back then I’d lose myself thinking what’s wrong with me, now I don’t care anymore. to hell with what they’re thinking.

someone from my work place said I am an antisocial, even called me a lonewolf, I had a hard time fighting myself to tell him to research the meaning of the word and give him the middle finger . Yes, I am aloof and yes, I’m quite reserved but I am not an antisocial.  I am selectively social. There’s a big difference. char. good thing I didn’t give in to his senseless comments about my personality, I just figured out yesterday he’s considered one of the “maluwang ang turnilyo” peeps in office. thank God for my instinct.

 

weird


nung petiks lang akong magtrabaho hindi ako nagkakaerror at napasama pa ko sa top performers.

tapos nung pineptalk ko yung sarili ko na dapat mas galingan ko pa saka naman nagkasablay-sablay ang stats ko, wuuhhh, anyare?

sana naman hindi makeri ober sa november at december at sa mga susunod pang buwan ang sumpang ito hahahaha kundi eexit ako nang hindi man lang nareregular haha, nega much?puyat lang to, itutulog at ikakain ko lang to,

aribabay!nanayt!

minsan mapapamura ka talaga


so nagauto-play sa fb newsfeed ko yung video kung san gisadong bawang ung witness eklavu sa ejk hearing, ung ichura na parang gusto na niyang umamin na punyeta naligaw lang ako dito, pero ayun tuloy pa din, para kong nanunuod ng teleserye na may twist and turns yung plot, akala ko sa novel at movies lang may fiction pati sa Senado pala meron din. Teka may parte ba sa tax na kinakaltas sakin every cut off ang napupunta sa mga nakaupo dun lalo na dun Chairperson?kasi kung ganun nga eh Pu@#!1[\&@!!!! 

wala lang,napadaan lang matagal din akong hindi nakapagpost, 😈hehehe