naisip ko lang


there’s nothing more comforting in times that you have to call an ***hole and you received a message that says “sorry, the person you’re calling is unavailable. please try again later”.

ang swerte ko talaga paminsan-minsan (insert super smiling face here)

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when patience is no longer my virtue


I am freaking tired of my everyday routine recently. My only motivation to log in early at work is the fact that if I do so, I’ll be able to go home early. I can see a blazing red alert sign in my mind telling to me quit. Unfortunately, aside from the unreasonable reason of me being tired, I can’t think of a good motive that would count for me to start writing a rational resignation letter. I’m still out of luck when it comes to job applications abroad. Being an on-call nurse isn’t that much fulfilling and as for being a nurse-volunteer, I’m not quite sure if I could endure working without a salary to look forward to every 15th and 30th of the month. I’m very much independent from my parents and asking them for money would equate to trampling my pride and throwing it in the garbage bin. In addition to that, my elder sister who was separated from her good-for-nothing husband needs a hand in supporting her kids. And upon thinking of submitting a resignation letter, my brain automatically starts reciting my favourite poem “You mustn’t quit”.

I miss the good ole days when everything is just a white bull after graduation. You could exhaust yourself from grandeur planning of what will become of you nth year from where you currently are. Brave young hearts, high hopes and big dreams. That is how I would describe my posse and I back then. More than three years have passed since that white bull of mine becomes what seems like some sort of graffiato. And it still is.

At times, I caught myself thinking there’s got to be more to life than this. I mean, we didn’t work our asses off spending 6 years in grade school, 4 years in high school and 4 years in college just to witness our life going ahead of us. Can’t we all do something which we could enjoy doing and being rewarded with a hefty monetary value at the same time? I badly wanted a job like that. I would gladly exchange my prized anime card collections for a career like that. You bet I will.

My eldest sister said that sometimes in life, you just can’t have what you want when you want it but it doesn’t mean you can never have it. She added that everything takes place at the right time. Maybe it’s not No but it’s just Not now. Her advice is quite familiar though. I think I received a forwarded text message with the same context. But my question is, if not now, when?

I got to find my raison d’être ASAP or else I’ll go mad.

p.s.

I need something tangible.

being in love, doing volunteer work and learning good-to-know stuffs..


I’m supposed to post a cheesy composition of mine.

It’s about my first ever love story, (that I hope in time would turn into a forever love story, sobrang cheesy talaga! hehe)

Unfortunately, selfish that I am, I didn’t post it.

I’ve decided to savour the feeling of being in love all by myself (do I hear Celine Dion?, sori naman nagkamali, haha, kala ko nung una si Whitney kumanta eh)

I’ll read it over and over again for as long as I want to.

I know for a fact that the love month is almost over but hey, if you’re in love, everyday is happy hearts day isn’t it?

(I just hope that the day won’t come that I’ll fall flat on my face for being this in love, defensive?) wahaha

Well, moving on, (anung pecha na)

It’s been a while since I’ve visited my site.

I’ve been busy, you see.

I’ve been making plans to do volunteer training on the hospital near our house and they’re asking for lots of requirements. As if you’re actually applying for a job. Whew.

– BLS certificate or ID

– PRC license

– IVT license

– Copy of RLE

– Copy of BE rating and certificate

– Good Moral Character

– TOR

– Resume

– Recommendation letter from Brgy. Captain

– COE

Since BLS is one of the requirements, I decided to undergo training at Redcross Pasay, at dahil nanonosebleed na ako, magtatagalog na ako. During the training, madami akong natutunan,

–          nalaman ko na si Dick Gordon pala ang over-all-chairman ng Philippine National RedCross sa kasalukuyan (at uber endorse ung isang instructor namin sa kanya, kesyo maganda daw ang plataporma etc, etc, same old brand new crap)

–          nalaman ko na may St. Chamuel na skul pala tsaka Adventist University of the Philippines

–          nalaman ko din na ung mga Adventist hindi kumakain ng seafood, kung bakit? Yan ang hindi ko alam.

–          nalaman ko din na madaming SATA (select all that apply) questions sa NCLEX, kaya hindi ako mageNCLEX sa ngaun. Saka na pag paborito ko na ang SATA questions kesa multiple choice

–          nalaman ko din na kung Nurse1 ka na sa isang hospital, pwede ka pang maging midwife tapos mas mababa pa sa nursing aide basta wala kang backer

–          nalaman ko din na may mga gelpren pala na sila pa ung nag-uutos sa mabait nilang boypren na manligaw ng iba para lang magkaron ng thrill ung relationships nila

–          nalaman ko din na kahit 54 ang waist line mo, yakang yaka na gawin itong 38 in just 3 months, tamang gym, diet, yan ay ayon sa tatlong kaklase kong maskulados sa RD training.

–          nalaman ko din na sa paligid ng Pasay Red Cross, uber daming holdaper na kahit ung mga taga dun pinapatos basta araw ng sweldo at may pagkakataon

–          nalaman ko din pala na ung mga volunteer ng Red Cross na may lata sa mga establishments gaya ng MRT or SM or kung san pa ay may nakukuha na 20% sa nakukulekta nilang donations gamit ung mga latang hawak nila tapos kapag 1st aid volunteer ka sa mga ganun ding establishments (ung nagbBP karaniwan at blood typing), may PHP250 allowance ka tapos 1 free meal per day

–          nalaman ko na malikot pala ako mag-isip (courtesy of kuya na mga 26-28 y/o nakapagNCLEX at IELTS, part-time CI na kaklase ko sa RD training na nakalimutan ko na ang pangalan). Meron kasi kaming kaklase na may mabait na boypren, tapos aun sa kaklase namin uber bait ng kanyang boypren, hindi daw mahilig sa babae at loyal sa kanya kahit anung gawin nya, hindi daw makinight out at hindi mahilig pumunta sa mga bars, sabi ko baka hindi babae ang gusto kundi lalake, natawa si kuya kasi un daw gus2 nyang sabihin. The fact na naisip ko daw un ibig sabihin mulat ako at malikot ang pag-iisip, pero para sakin ganun din magiging assumptions ng iba. Vinoiceout ko lang ung naisip ko, hehe

–          nalaman ko na kahit saang lugar basta may makausap kang may similarities kayo kahit katiting, nagiging magkapalagayan pala kayo ng loob gaya ng mga lunchmates ko for 2 days sa RD training, kung sakaling mas matagal pa ung training, panigurado, may additional tropa na naman ako, hehe

–          nalaman ko na dumadaldal at bumabangka din pala ako minsan sa kwento basta napasubo, (once in a blue moon lang yan mga pre)

–          nalaman ko na minsan mas madami ka pang nakukuhang kaalaman kesa sa expected mong makukuha sa isang training

See?

I learned lots of things from that 2-day BLS-CPR training

Naging masaya talaga ako sa training minus the fact na nung nagreturn demo ako sa CPR ng child at infant, napunta ako sa masungit at pilosopong instructor na wala naman nung time na tinuturuan kami. And what pisses me off is how he answered my serious question with a mocking question. Pang-asar talaga. Buti na lang nung sinagot ko siya medyo may paggalang pa din. (partida, wala akong tulog na matino tapos inasar nya ako tapos magalang pa ako, pwede nyo na akong awardan ng most patient)

Tapos pang-asar pa din kasi pinaulit nya ako ng 2 beses sa CPR sa child kasi mga naka3/4 na ko nung CPR cycle nang mapansin nyang medyo hindi maayos ung pagcompress ko, epal, sana unang cycle pa lang tinigil na nya tapos pinapaulit na nya sakin.

Tapos unfair kasi ung return demo ng child CPR dapat sa child dummy gagawin, sakin sa adult dummy, musta naman, 1 heel tapos adults tapos gusto nya bumabaon ung heel ko sa dummy eh ang tigas kaya nun, musta naman xa,

Pagkatapos ko, pawisan ako ng bonggang bongga, tapos ginisa pa nya ako ng questions, (sabi nung isa kong kasama mataas daw expectations sakin nung mokong na un, kasi isa ako sa highest sa exam (kunwari hindi nyo napansin na nagyayabang ako) kaya daw ganun) Isip ko naman, unfair, pati ung iba na hindi naman tinuro sa lecture proper tinatanong tapos halos pareho naman ung sagot ko sa sinabi nyang sagot, sabi nya pa din mali pa din, eh parang pinaligoy lang naman nya, (bitterness to the end power)

Buti na lang hinintay ako ng mga lunchmates ko hanggang sa matapos ako (3rd to the last kasi akong nagdemo)

Over-all, nagging makahulugan (naks) at masaya ang RD training experience ko. Sana sa susunod kung hihingin ng pagkakataon, makita ko pa ulit ung mga lunchmates ko dun (sa loob ng 2 days, may katandem na kasi akong 2 girls, tawag samin nung isang kwelang instructor ay powerpuff girls) tapos nung 2nd day nadagdagan na kami ng 2 pa (1 girl and .5guy.girl), tapos magdadala ako ng camera para may remembrance. hehe

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