Thoughts of a mid30s from the A-204 morning class

After hiatus of like 3 years was it? I’m here again bleeding my brains out.

For some reason, I just decided to check this website out of the blue and the first thing I did was to check my first and last blog entry.

I checked my first blog and I did it around July of 2009 and my last one was on May of 2020.

And here I go again. I am currently sitting on the 5th row of my Introduction of Nursing Research class. We are doing an activity of 2 research papers, identifying hypothesis, variables and whatnots and instead of doing so, I am blogging right now and not even sure what I should blog about so I’ll just let my fingertips do the talking or was it my brain?

To myself from 2009, not that you know right now but I am studying nursing again in the land of kangaroos and koalas. I’m married with 2 beautiful but with an attitude kids, a daughter who looked like a splitting image of his dad and a son who seems to look like me most of the time except for the eyes I guess. How is it possible that a foetus grows inside you yet they end up not looking like you? How unfair is that?hahaha

I am struggling right now with everything, I mean you know we’ve always struggled. I am just struggling in another land like I how I used to do in the desert. The introvert in us is struggling everyday wishing we could crawl back in my mom’s womb and just dissolve into nothingness most of the time. If it’s hard for you to relate in your own tribe in your own country, imagine how harder it is being in the multicultural mosaic. And nursing? Not really the most introverted profession we could choose right? How am I surviving so far? Not really sure. Just waking up everyday still and showing up even if I don’t feel like it at all.

It’s raining quite a bit outside the building where I am at. It’s gloomy and sums up how I feel inside in some other days. I still feel invisible sometimes. You must know as you are me. I’m still hoping for better days still. I think I still got a long way to go. Not looking for any unsolicited advice though. I’ll ask when I need and want one.

Oh well, I got another class to go. I’ll see you when I look back.

Home-made Ilocos Longganisa & Graham Cakes

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Meron ba sa inyong bet ang napakasarap na Ilocos Longganisa? Meron din ba sa inyong favorite ang graham cakes pero walang time gumawa?

Wag mag-alala at bumisita sa J&F Foods at umorder na!

Gustong-gusto ko talagang umorder pero talo ako sa shipping fee gawa ng malayo kami sa kabihasnan, hahaha charot! Abot kami ng Grab kaso apat na beses ung SF ng original price ng product.

Kapag natapos na ang pandemya, sisiguraduhin kong dadaan ako sa J&F kapag naligaw ako sa QC para makaorder ng personal hahaha.

addicted to drawing, sewing and everything

I honestly don’t remember when have I last posted my thoughts here on the odd one out.

I currently work full-time 6 days a week and actually looking for a sideline job for an extra income.

Aside from that, I am currently addicted to doodles & drawings (please follow my IG account @au.bu.san 😉 ) In addition, I’m also obsessed with sewing (if you’re my follower @aubumalabs, you must have seen my sewing creations (nakanaks) haha

I’m not sure if I mentioned my other blog before but I’m also busy with that hahaha (ako na ang busy)

 

 

the ultimate lazy man’s mug

when you’re a breasfeeding mom and has a job in the wee hours of the night, this is what you need for that coffee…

tada! the self-stirring mug! Just put coffee powder and hot water then press the “stir” button and you get yourself a coffee without doing the stirring effort yourself..

super effort ba ang paghahalo?sorry na,

I’m just lazy…hahahaha

so hindi ko kinaya

nagrepost ako ng isang post ng fb friend to send a message to my extremely annoying fellow fb friends since elem/hs/etc regarding calling voters foul names tapos ayun nasabihan ding akong bobo/tanga indirectly ng taong namintang din sakin before na nagyoyosi ako dahil lang sa mukang balat sa noo ng anak ko.

oh well, tapos naman na ung eleksyon, nanalo ung ibang bet kong kandidato at walang pumasok sa bet nya kaya siguro bitter. Sabi ng asawa ko dapat sinagot ko ung comment niya sa post ko, I have hundreds of rebuttals in my mind but decided not to make patol, her comment just revealed what kind of person she is anyway…

I just realised respect is becoming outdated these days..

let there be peace

dapat sa FB ako magrarant pero dito na lang..hahaha

nakakastress sa newsfeed ung mga FB friends kong citizen na ng ibang bansa pero makareact na bobo sa mga chosen candidates ng iba akala mo andami pa nilang alam sa Pinas. Diba itinatwa nyo na pagiging Filipino nyo?anyare? Saka ung mga friends kong sobrang analytical at argumentative kala mo grumaduate ng PolSci at Statistics pero hindi marunong magcalculate ng majority versus minority. Dahil wala pa sa top12 ung OtsoDiretso ninyo, INC agad may kasalanan? Iunfriend niyo na ko please. hahaha. tapos na eleksyon. Resulta na lang inaantay. Manahimik na kayo.😂

#walangpakialaman #botonilapakemo #hindiakoregisteredvoterperonakakastresskayo

sa isang kisapmata

convo with Piatot

me: Pia, makinig ka sakin nak. wag ka na pupupu sa diaper, ha. big girl ka na.

Piatot: opo mommy

me: lagi mo sinasabing opo ginagawa mo pa din

Piatot: nuod ako Peppa Pig and George mommy kaya pupu ako diaper

me: hindi na un pwede big ka na nga (umiinit na ang ulo ko)

Piatot: mommy dami ko friends

me: iniiba mo na naman usapan eh

Piatot: dami ko friends, avery, anna, ate Diane

me: o tapos (wala na naiba na usapan)

Piatot: dami ko friends pero mommy bespren ko, bespren tayo mommy

me: (heart melting)

aughh wala lang

#mommymoments

#nakakakilig

chubby is the new sexy

sabi ng asawa ko sakin kasi sabi ko ung waistline ko wala na sa medium size.

asa large na.

my gosh hahaha. arti arti. sabi ko hindi na kasya ung iba kong damit sakin sabi niya problema ba yun edi bumili ng bago. ang supportive hahaha.

gusto ko talagang magdiet pero sa tuwing may pagkain akong nakikita at binibigyan niya ko ng pagkain lagi kong sinasabi sa sarili ko ay “eat today, diet tomorrow.

eto na talaga ung sumpa ng pagtanda chos sumpa talaga. mabagal na metabolism. tapos ung kain ko nung dalaga ako ganun pa din ako kumain ngayon tapos work from home pa ko. sinong hindi tataba hahahaha

alam ko naman na dapat mindful eating na ako kaso mahirap magpigil pag masarap ang pagkain. basta soon. mga bukas or next month. or balang araw.

for the mean time kakain muna ko ng waffle at magkakape for the nth time.

yum yum yum..

dahil sa Stay

sabi ko manunuod ako ng movie sa netflix basta petiks sa work tapos napunta ako sa youtube tapos pinanuod at pinakinggan ko ung Stay ng Blackpink kasi nacurious ako sa laki ng fanbase nila tapos ayun, buong shift na akong nanunuod at nakikinig ng music videos ng mga kanta nila, syet hahaha

death penalty for rape

I was browsing my FB newsfeed when a post caught my eye. Streaks of blood in a hospital floor. I got curious and I read through the article then I got furious. A 5 year old female kid was raped. Yes. Raped. Her lower part was bleeding so much the nurse and bystanders thought she got caught up in an accident. No info was given regarding who did that unimaginable thing to an innocent kid. I hope they rot in hell real bad. I hope someone will make them pay. I actually wish them dead so they’ll do no further harm.

I wish for death penalty as a punishment to those fucking rapist. Sa mga pabibo na magsasabing hindi kamatayan ang sagot, tangina sabihin niyo yan sa limang taong gulang na binaboy ng mga rapist na yun. At sa mga iba pang pabibo na magsasabing buti nga hindi pinatay, sabihin nyo yan sa batang yun at sa lahat ng biktima ng rape na kahit matanda na sila ramdam at tanda nila ung kababuyang ginawa sa kanila. I should know. Someone close to me was almost raped and she still has nightmares until now. How much more to those rape victims? Pano nila haharapin ung kinabukasan?It would take a lifetime perhaps more to move on sa ganyang pangyayari sa buhay.

Pamura na din sa mga victim blamers na nagsasabing walang mararape kung maayos manamit. Punyeta sabihin nyo sakin kung kamaniac maniac ba ung 5 years old na batang babae na nakapantulog.

Gigil na gigil ako sa nangyari sa batang yun at ipinapanalangin kong makayanan nya yung dagok na un sa buhay niya. I wish no other kids, women or man shall suffer the way she did. Fuck rapists. Fuck drugs. Fuck evil.

Sorry naman sa puro murang post. Gigil much talaga ko. May anak akong babae. I couldn’t imagine what is going on inside that kid’s mom and dad’s mind. Just imagining something horrible like that might happen to my kids makes me want to go on a rampage. Ay talaga naman. maghahalo ang balat sa tinalupan.